Chris Hardwick - For Those Over 30 Years Old

Chris Hardwick: Mandroid Season 1, Ep 1 11/10/2012 Views: 8,115

Chris Hardwick dares you to finger your wife. (1:57)

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Okay, 30s and olders,got a question for you.

30s and unders, take a nap.

30s and olders,what happened to fingering?

What happened to it?

What happened to fingering?What happened?

Do you remember fingering?

Do you remember?Think back.

It's it's buriedin your brain,

somewherein the distant past.

If you don't remember,

fingering is a partof a very complex

teenage negotiation,

where a young boysays to a young girl,

"I would like to putthis in you."

And she's like,"No, but how 'bout these?"

And he's like,"I accept your terms."

You don't use that wordwhen you get older.

If you are ina long-term relationship

or married,try to finger your wife.

Try it, I dare you.See what happens.

She won't know whatyou're--she'll be like,

"What did you do--are you--Did you the lose the keys?

"Why are youfishing around in there?

Please, I just wantto go to sleep."

It's funny, like, fingering,it sounds gross.

It sounds--right?

It sounds dirty.

It sounds dirt--It's--it's not.

It's cleaner than sex.

It's safer than sex,

but it sounds grossfor some reason.

I think that's becauseit just sounds

like wrong English, right?

To make a verb out of finger?

It's just gross.

It sounds like a fake word thataliens would mistakenly use

while trying to fitin with mankind

before a planetary takeover.

They land.

One of them walks up to a groupof people and he's like,

"Hey, dudes,

"I just fingered a female

"in the backof my vehicle.

"Then I penised her

"for seven Earth minutes.

Take me to your leader."