Uncensored - Neal Brennan - Cute S**t

Neal Brennan: Women and Black Dudes Season 1, Ep 101 01/18/2014 Views: 9,709

Neal Brennan understands that men are merely props in a woman's pursuit of a cute picture. (2:21)

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ANYBODY HERE MARRIED?

[ SCATTERED APPLAUSE ]

REALLY?

[ APPLAUSE ]

HERE'S WHAT I THINK, LADIES.

I DON'T THINKYOU NEED MEN ANYMORE.

LADIES, I THINK YOU SPENDMOST OF YOUR LIVES

IN YOUR OWN HEADS...

[ LAUGHTER ]

...THINKING ABOUT CUTE THINGS

THAT YOU'RE GONNA DOIN THE FUTURE.

AND BASICALLY,GUYS ARE JUST PROPS IN THAT.

AND YOU LIKE A LOT OFLEAD TIME TO THINK ABOUTTHIS CUTE SHIT, TOO.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ALWAYSPLANNING AHEAD SO FAR, LADIES.

WELL, YOU'LL BE LIKE, "HEY, CANWE GO TO THE BOTANICAL GARDENS

THREE SUNDAYS FROM NOW?"AND WE'RE LIKE, "SURE, BABE."

AND IN THE BACK OF OUR HEADS,WE'RE LIKE,

"HOPEFULLY,I'LL BE DEAD BY THEN."

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S SO THAT YOU CAN TAKETHE FULL THREE WEEKS

THINKING ABOUT HOW CUTEYOU'RE GONNA LOOK,

AND YOU DON'T EVEN CAREABOUT THESE PLACES.

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUTTHE BOTANICAL GARDENS

OR SAILING OR WINE TASTING.

YOU GO TO THESE THINGSFOR ONE THING

AND ONE THING ONLY, LADIES.

YOU GOT TO GET A PICTURE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OF YOURSELF.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LOOKING CUTE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

AS, LIKE, A RECEIPTOR A PROOF OF PURCHASE...

[ LAUGHTER ]

...THAT SOMETHING CUTE HAPPENED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DID IT.

FELLAS,WE CAN BE IN THE PICTURE,

BUT IT'S FOR HER LOOKING CUTE

SO THAT SHE CAN POST THE PICTUREONLINE

SO THAT HER ENEMIES CAN SEE IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YES.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SHE WANTS HER ENEMIES TO SEE ITAND BE LIKE, "SHIT.

THIS BITCH IS CUTE."

[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]

CUTE, CUTE, CUTE.

IT'S HUGE.IT AFFECTS EVERYTHING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I NOTICEDRECENTLY, LADIES?

BECAUSE OF THIS CUTE THING,

EVERY GIRL I KNOWALL THE TIME IS TWO THINGS.

FREEZING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

STARVING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"OH, MY GOD, I'M SO COLD.

IS ANYBODY ELSE FREEZINGAND STARVING?"

NO, IT'S 75 DEGREES IN HERE,AND THERE'S FOOD EVERYWHERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"RUDE."