Tonight, uh, because we havea real like edgy atmosphere,
I'll be going bymy porn name.
(Dave)Oh, what is that?
Now, Artie, you're gonna tellus the first dirty, naughty,
filthy joke of thenight, are you ready?Right.
You asked me to-- to tellthe first dirty joke,
so I wrote somestuff down.Oh.
Oh, here we go.
I'm always prepared,I'm always prepared.
Is everything good,are you ready?
You can move itaround a little bit.
It's not a recital, okay?
You can move it around.
Oh, is hethe camera guy?(Dave)Yeah.
This is Keenan.
Oh, okay.Keenan, this is Artie.
You handle a cylindricalblack thing very well.
So, Artie, youready to hit us?
All right, are you ready?Uh, how about this?
When is a handjob a blow job?
When the womanis deaf.
(Dave)Oh, come on, that'sfucking funny.
What are you guys, whatwere you doing all day?
Rescuing pugsor something?
You got more?You got another one?
All right, howabout this one?
What's the worst partof dating a girl
with an eating disorder?
She'll throw upthe morning after pill.
Everybody, Artie Lange.Obese Witherspoon!