Connie's Rough Upbringing

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 10/30/2012
  • Views: 10,978

Connie opens up about her experience with a church that put her through a gay curing machine. (1:47)

- WELL, THAT'S INTOLERANT.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THEYSAID BAD THINGS ABOUT YOU?

- THAT'S ALL THEY DO!I KNOW BECAUSE...

I USED TO BE A MEMBER.

IT WAS 15 YEARS AGO.

I WAS YOUR AVERAGE,EVERYDAY LITTLE GIRL.

[grunts]

I WANTED TO PLEASEMY MOTHER SO MUCH.

[rip]

[girls giggling]

SHE JUST IGNORED MEAND MY HANKERING FOR HOO HAA-ING

TILL SHE COULDN'T ANYMORE.

MY FATHERAND THE CHURCH MEMBERS

MADE A "GAY CURING" MACHINE.

THEY CALLED IT"THE HOMO ERADICATOR."

- YOU LIKE THAT, SINNER?DO YOU?

I'LL BET SLATERFROM SAVED BY THE BELL

WOULD MAKE YOU SCREECH.

- MMM...

- DOESN'T PAT SAJAKHOLD YOUR GAY BACK?

- MMM...

- AND TRY ROMANCIN'TED DANSON.

- MMM.

[slow beeping]

[rapid beeping]

[electrical buzzing]

- YOU HAD ENOUGH?- NO.

I WANNA SEE HOW IT ENDS.

WHEN IT DIDN'T WORK,MY PARENTS DISOWNED ME.

THEY BOUGHT A ST. BERNARD,NAMED IT CONNIE,

AND PHOTOSHOPPED MEOUT OF ALL THE FAMILY PICTURES.

I NEVER SPOKETO THEM AGAIN.

- MAN, THAT'S MESSED UP!

IF THEY WANTEDA DOG NAMED CONNIE,

THEY COULD'VE JUST KEPT YOU.

- SHUT UP, IDIOT.

CONNIE, I NEVER KNEWYOU'D BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH.

WOODY, YOU CAN'T HAVETHAT HATE-FILLED CHURCH HERE.

- YEAH, YEAH.MAYBE I SHOULD RECONSIDER

HAVING THESE HATE-MONGERSAT OUR PARK.

- THEY PAID CASH.- CHA-CHING!

WELCOME, HATE MONGERS!

WE NEED TO MAKETHESE PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE.

TIME TO DE-GAY THE PARK!

CONNIE, PUT ON THIS DRESS.

YOW. THAT'S A TOUGH SELL.HERE.

FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS,YOU'RE GONNA BE A STRAIGHT GUY

NAMEDCHESTER...BEEFBOTTOM.

- [groans]

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