WORKAHOLICS is keeping me young.You know, it's a hip show.
And I'm in a weird age range,gonna be honest with you.
I'm in the 37-to-44 age range.
That's, uh, right beforeyou put in a ponytail
and get a motorcycle.
It's not old, it's what I liketo call "pre-old."
It's when you doing stuffyou not supposed to do anymore,
like wear a hoodie.
You know,when hoodie time is done.
Trying to play basketball onthe weekends without stretching.
You know?
I'm out there like,"Yeah, yeah! Ow! Oh, shit!
Get-get the car!Go get the car."
Like, you ever seethe 40-year-old guy
and the 20-year-old chick?
You know? You're just like,
"Why is that dadkissing his daughter?"
Like, what,you gonna meet her mom?
You might've gone to high schoolwith this chick, you know?
How you gonna look walking in?"This is my mom."
"Evelyn?
(laughs):"Evelyn!
"Class of '90!
"You look great.
"The years havetreated you well. (laughs)
"But remember whenyou looked like this?
"Ah!
Ha, Evelyn! Ha, ha!"
Come on, let's be real.
You-you don't datea 20-year-old when you're 40.
You (bleep) a 20-year-old.
This makes perfect sense to me.
Let me tell you why.
'Cause 20-year-old (bleep)
is like Wolverine from X-Men.
No matterwhat you do to it,
it just heals.(sucking noise)
(pounding noises, sucking)
(imitates gunfire)
(sucking noise)
(imitates explosion)
(sucking noise)
You know what I'm talking about?
(crowd cheering)
(laughs)
I mean, it gets over 30,and it turns into Play-Doh,
you know, just...(squishing noise)
(coughing)
(laughs)
You can get in itlike a Snuggie, like,
"Ooh, this is just...
"Oh, there's a chair in here!
Look at all this space in here."
(laughs)
There's a dismount slideinto a pool.
"Oh!"
I'm kidding.Look at all the women over 30
looking at me like,"(bleep) you.
This is still good,I tell you that right now."
Gonna be having me outside.
"Excuse me. This (bleep)is still delicious."
"Well, show me how goodthat (bleep) is.
You bragging about it."
(chuckles)
So, needless to say,I don't date a lot. Um...