Elvira Kurt - Safety

  • Season 2, Ep 2
  • 05/28/1999
  • Views: 17,055

Today, no one would dream of inventing a lawn dart. (2:26)

I KNOW THAT OUR GENERATIONCAN KEEP UP WITH THESE CHANGES.

IT'S THE KIDS TODAYTHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

THEIR LIVES ARE GOINGTO BE MADE SO SOFT AND SIMPLE

WITH ALL THESE INNOVATIONS.

NOW I DON'T RECALL ANYOVERT SAFETY FEATURES

ON ANYTHING WHEN I WAS A KID,DO YOU?

NOBODY PUT A BICYCLESAFETY HELMET ON MY HEAD.

HOLY COW, MY DAD COULDHARDLY WAIT

TO TAKE THE TRAINING WHEELS OFF

BEFORE HE SHOVED MEDOWN THE HILL.

SEE YA!

( laughter and applause )

AND ELECTRICAL OUTLETS?

THESE DIDN'T HAVEANY SAFETY COVERS ON THEM.

THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH

A TRIAL-BY-ERROR THING.

IT WAS LIKE, HEY, DON'T STICKYOUR FINGER IN THAT...

OH, JESUS.

LOOK AT YOUR STEAMING,CURLY HEAD.

COME HERE.

COME HERE.

SMACK!

THEY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT US.

LOOK WHAT THEY GAVE USTO PLAY WITH.

NONE OF IT'S AROUND ANYMORE.

TODAY, NOBODY WOULD EVEN DREAMOF INVENTING A LAWN DART, HUH?

BUT THIS WAS PERFECTLYACCEPTABLE WHEN WE WERE KIDS.

HEY, WHAT SHOULD WE DOWITH THIS PIECE OF PLASTIC

WITH A SIX-INCH, RAZOR-SHARPPOINTY SHAFT

STICKING OUT THE END OF IT?

LET'S HAVE THE KIDSHEAVE THEM AT EACH OTHER.

WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN?

WHAT IF THEY LOSE AN EYE?

HELL, THEY'VE GOT TWO.

LET THEM PLAY.

YOU REMEMBER THE LAWN DART,DON'T YOU?

IT WAS PRETTY MUCH A JAVELIN

WITH A PLASTIC CONESTUCK AT THE END OF IT.

YOU STOOD WITH A PLASTIC HOOPAT YOUR FEET.

WHO CAME UPWITH THAT INSTRUCTION?

"LAY HOOP AT FEET."

OKAY.

YOUR BEST FRIEND STOOD20 FEET AWAY FROM YOU

WITH A SPEAR.

AND YOU'RE TAUNTING THEM.

THROW IT HARDER!

THROW IT HARDER!

YOU SUCK!

( gasps )

TOO HARD.

OH, I BETTER PUSH ON IT.

I THINK MY MOTHER WAS ALWAYSCOMPLETELY SURPRISED

TO SEE ME COME HOME FOR SUPPEREVERY NIGHT.

WHAT YOU DOING HERE?

I FINISHED PLAYING.

WITH THE LAWN DARTS?

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