Workout Instructor

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 06/04/2013
  • Views: 27,963

Amy knows that the best way to motivate women at the gym is to give them a little tough love. (3:29)

she is the best trainerI've ever had.

Perfect, I need this.

I've been so bad lately.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Oh, I see some of you are backfor more, love it.

Let's get started, warm-ups,jumping jacks,

you know 'em, you love 'em.

This is notan exercise class.

This is a funeral forthe fat you, okay?

Let me tell yousomething.

You will not be missed.

By the timeyou leave here,

your titties are gonna besquirting Muscle Milk.

Is that something you'reinterested in-- I am.

All right, keep eye contactwith yourself in the mirror,

look at who you are.

Is that whoyou want to be?

Let's get to know each otherwhile we're here today.

Maybe after.

That's good, ladies.

Bring it down for the stepand touch, step and touch.

Great heatcoming off your broiler.

People tell you that?

No, nope,no one's ever.

I think we canturn up the temp.Whoa!

All right, look, I'm notgonna mince words with you,

sweethearts--this workout is hard.

You will be a weaponwith a pussy on it.


I like this, you didn'thave this last time.

Okay, squat it down.

Hold it here.

Go lower.

By the time you leave here,

you will literally beunrapeable.

That's right.

All right, ladies,forehead planks.

Get down, hit it, hit it.

Hit it!

Keep it down.

This does technically violatethe Geneva Convention.

Waterboarding my clit, thisis the real torture right here.

This is the real torture!

A lot of peopledon't know,

this is the exercise that brokeup Anne Heche and Ellen.

Maybe you didn'tknow they were together,

that was a big news itemfor a while.

Do not tweet that, I shouldnot have even said that.

That is not--

That's privileged information,forget I said that.

Just hold it down here,okay, hold it down!

If you commit to thisworkout here today,

your abs aregonna be so tight,

you won't be able tohave children.

Maybe your boyfriend'scool with that.

I don't know, maybeyou don't have a boyfriend.

Maybe you're ofa different persuasion.

I'm sorry?


Here we go.

Draw your vagina inand hold it so tight

so you could, like, rip a dickin half, you know,

or some other metaphorthat's more personal to you.

You doing 'em?Yep.

Really?Yes, I am.

'Cause you know, if you cheat,you're only cheating yourself.

I know, that's whyI'm doing them.

I mean, I'll check,it'll be my pleasure.

Oh, okay.Now you're doing 'em.

I want to tell you guysa little story, okay,

a story abouta little fat girl,

a little fat girl witha heart of gold.

All she wanted to dois eat Dunkaroos

and watch "DuckTales."

I punched her in the facebecause she was a pussy!

I hope there aren'tany pussies in here,

'cause I eat pussyfor breakfast.

She eats pussiesfor breakfast.

Do what she says!Pussy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know wewere talking.

Is this HBO's"In Treatment"?

Is that what youthink this is?

I don't think it's HBO's"In Treatment."

Oh no, what do youthink it is?

I'd love to hearwhat think it is.

You've got my attention, whatare you gonna do about it?


Whoa, stay away from my window,Melissa Etheridge.

Chill it out right now.

I'm so sorry,I think we--Wrong team.

I think I misunderstood.

I'm a dick lady.

I love dick.

That's what I do--Tons of dick.

Round-the-clock dick,dick parade.

Anyway,everybody line up.

Uterus thrusts, okay.

And I don't want you to feelweird about what just happened

when you just triedto kiss me.

Okay, here we go, don't bea stranger to the person

in front of you.

Thrust it, feel it, okay?

Okay, that's enough,that's-- that's good.

Keep it just movingaround the room, okay.

Keep it movingaround the room.