Bill Dwyer - Opening for the Rolling Stones

  • Season 5 , Ep 11
  • 09/09/2001
  • Views: 1,787

Bill Dwyer pretends to open for the Rolling Stones on their next stadium tour. (1:01)

IF YOU'RE A COMIC THIS HAS GOT

TO BE ONE OF THE GREATEST GIGS,

I THINK MAYBE WHAT MIGHT BE

BETTER BEING THE OPENING ACT

FOR THE ROLLING STONES ON THEIR

NEXT STADIUM TOUR--

70,000 PEOPLE AT

THE ROSE BOWL...

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

PLEASE WELCOME YOUR OPENING ACT,

BIL DWYER"

(MIMICKING A CHEERING CROWD

OF THOUSANDS)

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

HEY, WHO REMEMBERS RAZZLES?

(CHEERING CROWD NOISE)

ARE THEY GUM OR CANDY OR WHAT?

(CHEERING CROWD NOISE)

COULD WE GET SOME STUDIES

DONE ON THIS, SOME OF THOSE

GOVERNMENT GUYS IN THEIR

LAB COATS.

(CHEERING NOISE CONTINUES)

THANK YOU.

THAT'S MY TIME.

I'M GONNA BRING OUT YOUR

HEADLINERS THEY CALL THEMSELVES

THE GREATEST ROCK-N-ROLL BAND

IN THE WORLD, YOU'VE SEEN THEM

ON DON KERSHNER'S ROCK CONCERT,

THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL,

YOU MAY REMEMBER THEM

FROM ALTAMONT,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE ROLLING STONES!

AND THEN I WALK OFF STAGE,

"FOLLOW THAT YOU SKINNY LIMY

BASTARDS, YES!"

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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