Manbird Exhibition

  • Season 1 , Ep 14
  • 11/17/2010
  • Views: 66,751

Mark takes the group on a field trip to the Museum of Natural History to see the exhibit on manbirds. (1:59)

SINCE THE BUILDING IS BEINGVACATED,

I THOUGHT WE MIGHT TRYA FIELD TRIP

TO THE MUSEUMOF NATURAL HISTORY,

CHECK OUTTHE MANBIRD EXHIBIT.

WHAT SAY, GANG?

- TECHNICALLY,HE CAN HAVE US DEPORTED.

- SURE.- SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

- LET'S TO DO THIS.- [squeaks]

- I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKEWEARING THE LEASH, DOUG.

I CERTAINLY DON'T LIKEHOLDING THE LEASH.

SO HOW ABOUT A PROMISETO STAY WITH THE GROUP?

- MMM.

- THEY'RE ALL GONE.

PHASE ONE COMPLETE.

[car horn honking]

- [over recording]MANBIRDS ORIGINATE

FROM A LANDMASSIN THE SOUTH PACIFIC,

WHICH THE LOCALS CALLSCROT-CHEESE ISLAND.

IT WAS THERE,DURING THE SPRING OF 1967,

THAT HONEYMOONINGNEW YORK CABBIE VIC CAMINETTI

DECIDED TO BRINGTWO OF THEM HOME

BECAUSE HE FOUND THEM,"HILARIOUS AS BALLS."

[recording beeps]

THE QUICKLY DIVORCED CAMINETTI

OUTFITTED THEMWITH PROPER FOOTWEAR

AND FED THEM SPARE CHANGE,

PERMANENTLY ALTERING

THEIR ABNORMALLY ADAPTABLEDIGESTIVE SYSTEMS

TO NOW REQUIRE A STRICT DIETOF PENNIES, DIMES, AND NICKELS.

[recording beeps]

CAMINETTIALSO TAUGHT THE BIRDS

THEIR TRADEMARKCOLORFUL EXPRESSIONS.

PRESS THE BUTTONTO HEAR A FEW.

- SUCK MY BALLS!

PUT YOUR CHEEKSINTO IT!

I'M GONNABANG YOUR MOUTH!

- YOU CAN ONLY WONDERWHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED

HAD THE MANBIRDBEEN BROUGHT OVER

BY SOMEBODYMORE SOPHISTICATED.

- EAT MY CHEESE!

GIVE ME A SQUIRT!

- OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.YOU'RE GONNA BREAK IT.

[recording beeps]

- MANY PEOPLE MISTAKETHE LONG, TUBULAR APPENDAGE

HANGING FROM THE CROTCHFOR THEIR GENITALIA.

HOWEVER, IT IS MERELYA PROTECTIVE FLAP,

KNOWN AS THE SHEATH,

GUARDING THEIR TINY,HIDEOUS SEX ORGANS FROM DANGER,

SUNBURN, AND MOCKERY.

- EW!- OH, BOY.

- HEAVIER THAN IT LOOKS.

OKAY, FOLKS,THAT'S LUNCH.

WHO WANTS A HOT DOG?

OKAY, EVERYONE,COUNT OFF.

- ONE.- TWO.

- ONE.- TWO.

- IS ONE.

- WELL, LET ME GUESS.

- OOH, OOH!

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