Jimmy Carr - Women Who Love Too Much

  • Season 9 , Ep 3
  • 01/13/2005
  • Views: 7,603

If you're going bald, stop swallowing. (2:37)

AT THE MOMENT.

IT'S ONE OF THESE SORT OF

NEW AGE THINGS.

IT'S CALLED "WOMEN THAT LOVE

TOO MUCH".

WHICH I THINK COULD HAVE THE

TITLE SHORTENED TO "SLUTS".

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MY GIRLFRIEND SAID, "HAVE YOU

BEEN HAVING SEX BEHIND MY BACK?"

[LAUGHTER]

I SAID, "WHO DID YOU THINK IT

WAS?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND BY THE WAY IT WOULDN'T

KILL YOU TO LOOK AROUND ONCE

IN A WHILE, CHECK HOW I'M DOING.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I WAS READING IN JUGS MAGAZINE

A VERY INTERESTING AND

INFORMATIVE ARTICLE.

IT WAS ABOUT THE DIFFICULTIES OF

ASKING YOUR PARTNER FOR ANAL

SEX.

IT WAS ENTITLED, WHAT IF SHE

TAKES IT THE WRONG WAY?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SORRY MADAM, I CAN SEE YOU'RE

SHIFTING UNCOMFORTABLY THERE.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU.

I'M SURE WHATEVER YOU DECIDE

ABOUT ANAL SEX, I'M SURE HE'LL

BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE SIR,

YOU'VE GOT A BALD HEAD.

I'M NOT BREAKING THAT TO YOU.

YOU KNEW THAT, RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

DO YOU READ "NEW SCIENTIST"

MAGAZINE BY ANY CHANCE?

>> I DO.

Jimmy Carr: YOU DO READ IT.

DID YOU SEE IT LAST JANUARY?

>> NO.

Jimmy Carr: THEY HAD A VERY

INTERESTING ARTICLE.

IT WAS ABOUT "WHY MEN GO BALD".

>> WHY?

Jimmy Carr: APPARENTLY IT'S

TOO MUCH MALE HORMONE.

SO MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO STOP

SWALLOWING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BOXERS DON'T HAVE SEX BEFORE

A FIGHT.

DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS?

THEY DON'T FANCY EACH OTHER.

[LAUGHTER]

THE REASON OLD MEN USE VIAGRA IS

NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE IMPOTENT.

IT'S BECAUSE OLD WOMEN ARE SO

VERY UGLY.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS

BUT THE COMPANY THAT MAKES

VIAGRA, THEY'RE NOW MAKING THIS

NEW INHALER THAT THEY SAY WILL

GIVE A MAN AN ERECTION WITHIN

30 SECONDS.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.

THAT'S A [BLEEP] JOB.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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