Greg Giraldo - FOX News

  • Season 8 , Ep 18
  • 04/01/2004
  • Views: 3,941

Just admit you're conservative and stop lying. (1:40)

I GET ALL MY NEWS FROM THE

FOX NEWS CHANN BECAUSE THE

FOX NEWS CHANN IS FAIR AND

BALANCED.

[SCATTERED BOO'S]

THEY'RE FAIR AND BALANCED!

THEY CAN BARELY SAY THEY'RE FAIR

AND BALANCED THEMSELVES.

I MEAN, IT'S A RI--

YOU KNOW, LOOK, IF YOU'RE

CONSERVATIVE, JUST ADMIT IT.

STOP LYING, STOP SAYING YOU'RE

FAIR AND BALANCED.

THEY CAN'T EVEN SAY IT.

IT'S LIKE, " FOX NEWS--

FAIR AND BALANCED."

[BREAKS OUT INTO LAUGHTER]

THEY'RE SO NOT FAIR IT'S CRAZY.

LIKE, "SUPREME COURT TO HEAR

CHALLENGES TO MICHIGAN'S

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION POLICIES.

APPARENTLY, THE DARKIES HAVE

GOTTEN THEMSELVES SOME LAWYERS."

[LAUGHTER]

AND I LOVE THE DEBATES.

CAN THEY BE MORE MISMATCHED?

THE DEBATES ARE, "ARGUING IN

FAVOR OF STRENGTHENING SANCTIONS

AGAINST NORTH KOREA,

FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE

HENRY KISSINGER.

ARGUING AGAINST,

LORENZO LAMAS."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I THINK A LOT OF THE MEDIA

OUTLETS ARE IRRESPONSIBLE.

IT'S ALL SHOCK VALUE.

IT'S ALL RATINGS.

YOU THINK THEY CAN STOP PUTTING

THESE EXPERTS ON THE NEWS WITH

THEIR DOOMSDAY SCENARIOS OF HOW

THE TERRORISTS MIGHT ATTACK US

BECAUSE YOU GET THE SENSE THAT

THEY'RE COMING UP WITH IDEAS

THAT THESE PEOPLE HAVEN'T

THOUGHT OF THEMSELVES.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU KNOW, WOLF,

VERY FEW PEOPLE KNOW THIS,

BUT THERE'S ACTUALLY AN

INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT ATOMIC

SUBSTATION LOCATED RIGHT IN

OCALA, FLORIDA NOW.

IT WOULDN'T BE HARD FOR THEM

TO FIND.

I'LL SHOW YOU RIGHT HERE ON

THE MAP EXACTLY WHERE IT IS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

ALL IT WOULD TAKE IS A VERY

SMALL EXPLOSIVE CHARGE PLACED

IN THIS EXACT SPOT RIGHT HERE.

I MEAN, EVEN A FIRECRACKER

WOULD DO IT, WOLF, OR A BOTTLE

ROCKET.

I MEAN, THEY CAN SMEAR AN

EGG McMUFFIN RIGHT IN THIS

SPOT AND IT WOULD DO IT.

THERE'S ONLY ONE SECURITY

GUARD THERE.

HIS NAME'S BOB AND HE'S A BIT

OF A BOOZER.

SO IMAGINE THE HAVOC THAT CAN

BE

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