My name's John.Everyone say, "Hi, John."
This is cool, man.
I'm from Texas originally.
It's okay, let thatsit for a second.
But I'm like you,I'm a Democrat from Texas.
Which is pretty damn rare.
There's more gay Sasquatchthan there are Democrats
We don't get a lot of coverage.
We're actuallykind of like the team
that plays againstthe Globetrotters.
We're just really goodat getting our ass kicked
and looking like hippies,so all the rednecks love it.
My first job out of collegewas a lot of fun.
I was a traffic reporter.
And when you're a young stoner,right out of college,
there is no better jobthan getting paid to fly around
in a helicopte, telling peoplewhich way to go.
I was like...( puffs )
"Turn left, dude, turn left.
( laughs )"I was lying, dude.
"There's no wreck.
( giggles )"Look at you, you're late
and so little."
But I always thought,one of these days,
they will make marijuana legal.
And when it happens,
there will be a first day.
And that's the day I want to be
back in the chopperdoing traffic.
"Uh, taking a good lookat the traffic on the first day
"of the legalizationof marijuana.
"Absolutely no traffic problemswhatsoever.
"Everyone's going real slowand taking care of each other.
"Joints are flying fromcar to car on the expressway.
"Road rage isa thing of the past.
"There are a lot of peoplebacked up on the on-ramp
"afraid to get on the freeway.
But go for it, bro,it's merge day."