You follow me on Twitter, sir?
"Of course."That's the way you talk to me.
Could have said yes,could have said no.
He said, "Of course,"
as if there were no choice.
And there isn'ta choice.
People think being on Twitteris stupid.
I actually accomplishedsomething with it recently.
I did.I was at Kansas City Airport
looking for a place to eat,couldn't find one.
Kept walking,couldn't find one.
Finally foundthis terrible place to eat.
So I went on Twitterand wrote,
"New sloganfor Kansas City Airport--
'Walk a mile and enjoyone of our two food options.'"
A few hours later,I get a response
from the official Kansas CityAirport Twitter account.
And it was kind of sad.
They were like,"Due to our design,
we actually do havelimited food choices."
"But here's a link to a mapof all of our restaurants."
Some guy writes backto them,
"That link doesn't workon cell phones."
They write back,"Thank you.
We just fixed that."
So if you're everat the Kansas City Airport
looking for a place to eat,can't find one...
Have the weird impulseto get your cell phone out
to see if there's a mapof all of their restaurants
that you could link to--
If you're able to accessthat map...you're welcome.
Should have saved that jokefor the end.
[bleep] killed too hard, man.
This show's gonna bea little top-heavy.
You don't do Facebook.Hey.
Normally I'd make funof you for that,
but you've been so nice.
"I don't do Facebook.
I'm sophisticated.I do Twitter."
I just destroyed you.
I like readingpeople's Facebook profiles.
Find out the latestannoying expressions
that younger folks are using,like "loves me some."
It's like, favorite music--"I loves me some Lady Gaga."
Favorite food--"I loves mesome poppy seed bagels."
"I'm an 18-year-oldcommunity college student,
but I talk like a 90-year-oldChicago blues guitarist."
"I loves me some Honey Bunchesof [bleep] Oats.