Wayne Federman - Traffic Signals

Kenny, Sanchez, Sykes, Hedberg, Jackson Season 2, Ep 2002 05/23/1998 Views: 371

Wayne can't stand waiting for drivers to go after the light turns green. (1:32)

I HATE THELEFT-HAND TURN ARROW,

BECAUSE IT CREATESA VERY TENSE SITUATION.

WHEN WE LINE UP,WAITING FOR THAT LEFT ARROWTO TURN FROM RED TO GREEN.

AND IT'S FINE FORTHE PERSON IN THE FRONT.

AND WHEN IT TURNS GREEN,THAT GUY NEVER SEEMS TO GO.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THE POWER,KNOWING PEOPLE ARE BEHIND THEM,

AND THEY'RE CONTROLLINGPEOPLE'S LIVES.

THE GUY IN THE #2 SPOT,HE WON'T HONK,

BECAUSE HE FIGURES,"HEY, I'M GETTIN' THROUGH."

BUT THE FURTHER BACK YOU GET,THE MORE TENSE IT BECOMES

I'M WATCHING HIS BRAKE LIGHT,I'M LIKE, "COME ON."

SO I'M IN SIXTH, I HONK,THE GUY IN FRONT OF MEFLIPS ME OFF.

I'M LIKE,"I'M NOT EVEN HONKING AT YOU,I'M LOOPING AROUND YOU."

MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGTO DO IN L.A., IS RENT A VIDEO.

EVERYONE HAS A LITTLE OPINIONABOUT WHAT I LIKE TO RENT.

I RENT "SILENCE OF THE LAMBS,"WINS AN OSCAR...

GIVE IT TO THE KID,WHO'S, LIKE, FIFTEEN,

LOOKS AT ME,GIVES ME ONE OF THESE:

"WHATEVER."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHATEVER,"THAT IS A GOOD FILM.

HE GOES,"FIRST OF ALL, SIR.

THIS IS NOT A FILM,THIS IS A MOVIE.

IF YOU WANT TO RENT A FILM,RENT "MAN HUNTER,"

WE HAVE SOME COPIESIN THE BACK.

I'M LIKE, "MAYBE I DON'T KNOWTHE DISTINCTION BETWEENA FILM AND A MOVIE,

"BUT I THINK I KNOWTHE DIFFERENCE BETWEENA FILM CRITIC AND A CASHIER."