Clown Panties

Clown Panties Season 1, Ep 8 06/18/2013 Views: 23,108

When Amy comes home to find a pair of clown panties in her hallway, she is quick to accuse her boyfriend of cheating on her with a circus performer. (3:08)


You're home early.

They let us out of work'cause there was a shooting.

Why are youall sweaty?

I was just--I was working out.

Yeah, is there somethingyou wanna tell me?

You're beautiful.

Anything else,anything...

on your mind?

Nope, no, why?

Because what are these,Kevin?

( bells jingling )

I don't know,what are those?

They looklike clown panties.

Why are thereclown panties

crumpled up inour hallway?

Are those not yours?

No, they're not mind.

Do they look likethe hypoallergenic brand

my doctor recommended?


They look like theybelong to a clown.

A slut, whore clown!( bells jingling )

Okay, you know, I--I think I know what that is.

I did our laundry atthat new Laundromat

up the street,Big Top Laundry.

A lot of local clownsgo there, so...

Hey, I'm gladI worked this out, huh?No.

Uh, who's Sparkles?


I went through yourphone last night.

Here,let's take a look.

"You up?"

"I need you."


That's the typeof shit

you text to a clown!Oh!

You are fucking!

Oh, my God, I was justtexting a friend from work!

I can't believe youtook my phone!

You work with someoneat Deloitte & Touche

named Sparkles?

Yes, Sparkles Biederman!

He's been therefor years.

He's Dutch.

"Your ass is tighterthan a balloon giraffe."

You text that to a manyou work with

at a financialconsulting firm?

It's industry jargon.

It's not in yourwheelhouse.

You know what,this is stupid.

Let's just look atthe security footage

from last night.

How about that?Oh, my God!

You are beingso crazy right now!

( laughing )

What the fuckis that, Kevin?

( bells jingling )

( laughing )


You got me.

It was supposedto be

a surprise forour anniversary.

Our anniversary?

It's tomorrow.

You forgot,didn't you?

Oh, my God.

I totally forgot.

I'm such a stupiddumb bitch.

I know how you likeballoon animals

so I paidthese clowns to...

fill your closet upwith them.

( sighing )


I'm so sorry.

Why do youput up with me?

Because you're hot.

( whispering )Thank God.

I'm so sorry.

I just-- I getso scared of losing you.

I know, I know,I know, I know.( bells jingling )

I know, I know.