Brian Regan - Stupid Things

Brian Regan & Jonathan Solomon Season 1, Ep 0110 02/24/1992 Views: 18,032

Never assume a woman is pregnant just by looking at her. (1:38)

HOW YOU FEELING?

( reaction )

I DIDN'T THINK YOU HEARD ITTHE FIRST TIME.

I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD.

I HOPE I DON'T SAYANYTHING STUPID TONIGHT.

I ALWAYS DO.

YOU EVER SAY A PHRASEYOU SAY ALL THE TIME

AT THE WRONG TIME--SOMETHING LIKE, "YOU, TOO."

I WAS GETTING OUTOF A CAB AT THE AIRPORT

AND THE DRIVER GOES,"HAVE A NICE FLIGHT."

"YOU, TOO."

( laughter )

"YOU, TOO-- YOU HAVEA NICE FLIGHT, TOO

IN CASE YOU EVER FLY SOMEDAY."

DON'T ANYBODY LOOK AT ME.

I'M A MORON.

DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SAYTHE "YOU, TOO" PHRASE.

LIKE, A WAITRESS WILL SAY,"HEY, ENJOY YOUR MEAL."

"YOU, TOO.

"YOU DON'T HAVE ONE

"DO YOU?

"IF YOU DO EAT, ENJOY IT, IF YOUHAVE A BREAK OR SOMETHING.

"LATER PERHAPS.

"MAYBE YOU CAN ENJOY ITAT THAT TIME.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING."

I'M ALWAYS PUTTING MY FOOTIN MY MOUTH, TOO.

I MET THIS WOMAN, AND I COULDHAVE SWORN SHE WAS PREGNANT.

LET ME TELL YOU

IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEATO GUESS AT THAT ONE.

SO I SAID, "HEY,WHEN'S THAT BABY DUE?"

YOU EVER FEEL THAT WORDCOMING UP BUT YOU CAN'T STOP IT?

"HEY, WHEN'S THAT BABY DUE?

"HEY, WHEN'S THAT BABY DUE?

"THE BABY?

THE BABY DUE...?"

"WHAT BABY?"

"OH... SH...

"AT THE ZOO... THE PANDAS.

"LING-LING.

"HOW'S LING-LING DOING?

"I JUST THOUGHT I'D ASK YOU,A COMPLETE STRANGER

"IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUTTHE PANDAS... AT THE ZOO?

AT THE ZOO."