Robert Hawkins - Sing Along

  • Season 7 , Ep 20
  • 07/03/2003
  • Views: 2,445

The older you get, the more you hate people. (1:28)

AND I'M TIRED OF SHUTTIN' UP

ABOUT IT.

THE OLDER YOU GET, THE HARDER

IT IS TO SHUT UP.

[LAUGHTER]

IF YOU WANNA SING IN MY CAR,

GO AHEAD SING.

SING THE WHOLE TRIP, I DON'T

MIND.

BUT DO ME A FAVOR: DON'T TRY

TO SOUND LIKE THE ARTIST

ON THE RADIO.

JUST USE YOUR OWN VOICE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA TRICK ME INTO

THINKIN' DAVE MATTHEWS JUMPED IN

THE CAR WHEN I WAS GETTIN' GAS.

I'M IN THE CAR ONE TIME DAVE

MATTHEWS IS ON.

MY BUDDY'S IN THE PASSENGER

SIDE, ALL BOLD IN MY EAR.

FLEAS AND ANTS AND TARANTULAS

AND CENTIPEDES AND BUGS AND

STUFF."

[LAUGHTER]

AND I'M LIKE, "WELL, IT'S A GOOD

THING YOU'RE HERE 'CAUSE HE'S

SURE SCREWIN' IT UP."

[LAUGHTER]

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT?

WHAT DO THEY EXPECT YOUR

REACTION TO BE?

"NEATO!

FRITO BANDITO, MAN!

YOU SOUND LIKE 'EM, KINDA,

IN A ROUND ABOUT, HALF ASSED,

BACKWARD KINDA WAY.

IF HE WAS HAVIN' A STROKE,

BEING STUFFED IN A TUBA,

AND BEING BEATEN WITH A BAG OF

KITTENS.

HOW DO YOU MANAGE IT,

YOU TALENTED THING?

YOU MEAN, YOU'RE NOT THE GUY

FROM CREED, THIRD COUSIN,

SECOND REMOVED?

IF HE HAD DOWN SYNDROME,

LIVED IN A BURLAP SACK,

AND WAS BEATEN WITH AN OAR

EVERY FIVE MINUTES?

WELL, YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME,

MAN!"

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

"IF HE DIED, YOU COULD BE HIM.

LET'S KILL HIM!

THEN YOU CAN GO ON TOUR, I CAN

BE YOUR ROADIE, AND GET ALL YOUR

THROWAWAY TRIM."

[LAUGHTER]

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