T.J. Miller - Welcome to Dallas & Craisins

  • Season 1 , Ep 4
  • 10/30/2012
  • Views: 22,918

T.J. Miller explains what he does when an airplane lands and exposes the truth about craisins. (1:07)

AND YOU CAN DO THIS TOO,IS WHENEVER THEY LAND,

THE PILOT ALWAYS GETS ONTHE P.A. SYSTEM AND GOES,

[click] "UNITED AIRLINESWOULD LIKE TO BE THE FIRST

"TO WELCOME YOUTO DALLAS, TEXAS.

"WE APPRECIATEYOUR BUSINESS,

AND WE HOPEYOU'LL FLY WITH US AGAIN."

WHAT I LIKE TO DOIS RIGHT WHEN THEY'RE JUST ABOUT

TO TOUCH DOWN, RIGHT WHENTHEY'RE JUST ABOUT TO LAND,

YELL "WELCOME TO DALLAS!"

'CAUSE THEN THE PILOTHAS TO GET ON AND BE LIKE,

[click] "[sighs]

"NO, WELL, HE SAID IT,SO I CAN'T SAY IT.

"NO, HE ALREADY SAID--YOU SHUT UP, GERALD,

"YOU'RE THE CO-PILOT.

"UNITED AIRLINES WOULD LIKETO BE THE SECOND TO WELCOME YOU

"TO DALLAS, TEXAS,THANKS TO PASSENGER 19B,

WHO HAD 15 SCOTCH AND SODAS ANDFELL ASLEEP IN THE BATHROOM."

THAT LAST PART'SA TRUE STORY.

I GET SO TIREDIN THERE.

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK CRAISINSARE MADE OF CRANBERRIES.

THEY'RE NOT.THEY'RE ACTUALLY JUST RAISINS

THAT DON'T GIVE A [bleep].

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