Wanda Sykes - Strip Clubs

Wanda Sykes: Tongue Untied Season 1, Ep 101 01/09/2003 Views: 17,998

When Wanda Sykes went to a strip club, she learned the difference between regular boobs and professional boobs. (3:03)

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I WAS IN FLORIDALAST WEEK, MAN.

LOT OF STRIP CLUBS IN FLORIDA.

GOOD, GRIEF.

EVERY ONE THEY CLOSED INNEW YORK, THEY MOVED TO FLORIDA.

I MEAN, FLORIDA GOT SO MANYSTRIP CLUBS, I MEAN, THEY NEED

TO CHANGE THEY STATE FLAG TOJUST A BRASS POLE.

YOU KNOW?

FLORIDA.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)I WENT TO THIS ONE STRIP CLUB,

YOU KNOW, WITH THE GUYS, AFTERTHE SHOW, WE WENT TO THIS CLUB.

AND WE GET TO THE STRIP CLUB,AND THEY ACTUALLY TRIED TO

CHARGE ME A COVER.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

WANTING ME TO PAY.

I WAS LIKE "PAY?

ARE YOU OUT YOUR DAMN MIND?"I WAS LIKE, "COME ON, MAN.

I BROUGHT MY OWN TITTIES.

AND YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY TO SEETITTIES, SHOOT?

I CAN SEE TITTIES FOR FREEALL DAY IF I WANT TO.

YEAH, I CAN EVEN PLAY WITH THEM.

CAN YOU DO THAT IN THERE?

I AIN'T THINK SO.

YOU KNOW, B.Y.O.T., MAN."

(LAUGHTER) BUT I AIN'T GONNA LIE TO Y'ALL.

ONCE I GOT INSIDE, AND SAW THOSETRIPLE-Gs AND STUFF, I WENT BACK

AND PAID.

(LAUGHTER)I WAS LIKE, "OH, OH.

I GET IT NOW.

I SEE.

YEAH, THESE ARE PROFESSIONALTITTIES IN HERE."

(LAUGHTER)OH, GOOD LORD, NO, MY TITTIES

COULDN'T DO THAT.

I GUESS IF YOUR TITTIES BIGGERTHAN YOUR HEAD, THEN, YEAH.

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO PAY SOMEBILLS WITH THAT.

(LAUGHTER) THAT'S RIGHT.

THERE'S THIS ONE CLUB I WENT TO,MAN.

THAT WAS THE END OF IT FOR ME.

WE WENT TO THIS ONE STRIP CLUB,MAN.

IT WAS LIKE THE LOWEST, THE MOSTNASTIEST--

I MEAN, JUST RAW NAKED ASS.

THERE'S NO D.J., NO LIQUORLICENSE.

AND THE GIRLS, THEY DIDN'T EVENBOTHER DANCIN'.

THEY JUST STOOD UP THERE.

"LOOK AT IT!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?

LOOK AT IT!"(LAUGHTER)

I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.

I GOTTA GET UP OUTTA HERE."

I'M TRYING TO SNEAK OUT AND ALL.

BUT THE GUYS, THEY WERE JUST INTHERE LOOKING AT IT.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE THEY WERE LIKEWEIRD LOOKIN' FREAKY GUYS.

THEY WERE JUST YOUR REGULARAVERAGE LOOKIN' GUY.

BUT THEY JUST NEEDED TO LOOK ATIT.

AND THAT'S WHEN I HAD A WHOLENEW RESPECT FOR MEN.

I WAS LIKE, BOY, BECAUSE THATMUST BE REALLY HARD BEING A MAN.

YOU KNOW, HAVE THAT THING UP INYOUR HEAD MESSIN' WITH YOU ALL

THE TIME.

HOW DO YOU GET ANY WORK DONE?

HOW DO YOU ALL HOLD DOWN JOBS,MAN?

YOU KNOW, YOU AT WORK, MINDINGYOUR BUSINESS, AND ALL OF A

SUDDEN THAT THING JUST KICKS IN.

(LOWERED VOICE)"LET'S GO LOOK AT IT.

(LAUGHTER)COME ON, MAN.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME WE SEEN IT?

LET'S GO LOOK AT IT."