Moshe Kasher - Legalize It

  • Season 2 , Ep 2
  • 03/31/2011
  • Views: 30,085

Moshe Kasher thinks marijuana should be completely legal; we should all smoke it together and fail to thrive as a community. (2:32)

I BRING YOU A LOVELYGREETING FROM CALIFORNIA

(scattered cheers)THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM.THANK YOU.

WHERE WE RECENTLY FAILEDTO LEGALIZE MARIJUANA

BECAUSE THE XBOX DOES NOT HAVEA "VOTE HERE" FUNCTION.

(laughter)

I'M NOT ANTI-MARIJUANA.I AM NOT.

I VOTED TO LEGALIZE IT.

I THINK IT SHOULD BECOMPLETELY LEGAL.

I THINK WE SHOULD ALL SMOKE ITTOGETHER

AND FAIL TO THRIVEAS A COMMUNITY.

I'M ON BOARD.

I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSIONTHAT PART OF THE PROCESS

OF BECOMING AN ADULT ISADMITTING TO YOURSELF

THAT THE DOORSWERE A (bleep) BAND.

(applause)

DID YOU BOO?YOU ARE WRONG.

WELL, DON'T YOU THINK THATJIM MORRISON WAS PROBABLY

LIKE THE WORST PERSON YOUCOULD EVER MEET AT A PARTY EVER,

JUST SOME PLUNGING-NECKLINED,LEATHER-PANTED JACKASS

LIKE, "LET ME TELL YOUABOUT MY EXPERIENCES

ON MESCALINE IN THE DESERT."

UM, SCURRY BACK TO BURNING MANWITH YOUR STATUTORY-RAPE TALES.

NO ONE CARES.

(laughter and applause)

I SAID THAT TO A YOUNG LADY--

TO A YOUNG HIPPIE LADY,SHE GOT SUPER UPSET.

SHE'S LIKE, "DON'T YOU TALKABOUT JIM MORRISON!

HE'S LIKE A GOD TO ME!I VISITED HIS GRAVE."

I WAS LIKE, "FIRST OF ALL--

NOT A THING TO BRAGABOUT IN PUBLIC.

SECOND OF ALL,NOT A TRUE STORY

BECAUSE HE DOES NOT HAVE A GRAVEBECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO KNOW THEBACKSTORY

OF JIM MORRISON'S GRAVEWHICH IS THIS--

HE USED TO HAVE A GRAVE.

HE USED TO BE BURIEDIN THIS FAMOUS PARISIAN,

FRENCH CEMETERY WHERE TONSOF FRENCH LUMINARIES ARE BURIED

AND OSCAR WILDE AND STUFF,

AND THEY BURIED HIM THEREAS AN HONORIFIC,

BUT SO MANY ANNOYING HIPPIESWENT TO HIS GRAVE

ON PILGRIMAGE TO, LIKE,LIGHT A NAG CHAMPA OFFERING

OR DO A HULA HOOP PERFORMANCEOR WHATEVER

IT IS THAT HIPPIES DOTO HONOR THEIR DEAD

THAT THEY EXHUMED HIS BODYAND MOVED IT

TO AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION,

TO A PLACE WHERE A HIPPIECOULD NEVER FIND IT,

LIKE A SHOWER.

(laughter)

OR UNDERNEATHA STACK OF JOB APPLICATIONS.

(laughter)

A GOOD CONCERTWITH A GOOD BAND,

A PLACE WHERE THEYJUST COULDN'T ENTER.

"I WANT IN."

SHE WAS LIKE, "OKAY, FINE.TOUCHé, TOUCHé."

SHE KNEW THE WORD "TOUCHé"'CAUSE SHE HAD BEEN TO FRANCE.

SHE WAS LIKE, "TOUCHé.

"I DIDN'T GO TO HIS GRAVEBUT I WENT TO THE SPACE WHERE

"HIS GRAVE USED TO HAVE BEENAND THERE WAS THIS CAT THERE.

"THERE WAS A CAT.

"I WENT AT NIGHT,THE CAT WAS THERE.

"CAME BACK THE NEXT MORNING,CAT'S STILL THERE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"

I WAS LIKE, "NO,I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?"

SHE'S LIKE, "THAT CATWAS JIM MORRISON."

AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZEDI COULD (bleep) THAT GIRL.

(laughter)

AND SO I DID.

(laughter and applause)

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