Mo Mandel - Global Warming

South Beach Comedy Festival 2008 Season 1, Ep 2 01/28/2008 Views: 13,186

Global warming isn't going to be so bad -- iif it was global nippy, that would suck. (1:53)

-Are you guys intopolitics, Florida?

Who you planning on accidentallyvoting for this year?


-I'm not a political person.

People think I'm very politicalbecause I bought a used car

and it already hadbumper stickers on it.

I'm not political,it's just really hard

to take off a bumper sticker.You know what I mean?

Like, I got to scrapeand peel, and I'm like,

screw it-- I'm against abortion.


-I've decided.

And all these political stories,they're not really scary.

They try to freak us out.

Like global warming,you guys scared of that?

No, because it's goingto be warmer, right?

Like if it was globalnippy, that would suck.

But warmer's cool, right?

Like the other storethey try to scare us

with-- the Americansare getting fat thing.

They always say,Americans are getting fat.

It's like, well, I'm not fat.

But Americans are getting fat.

But I'm not fat.

It's kind of like they'resaying, you need to watch out.

You're becoming relativelybetter looking every day.


-You're gettingsexy, tone it down.

And kids are fat.

I don't know if you guys knowthat, but all kids are fat now.

Which must be reallyweird, you know

because like when I was a kidnot a lot of kids were fat

and they got picked on.

And they shouldn't have.

And I wonder if they still do.

I wonder if bullies arewalking around-- you're fat.

So are you.

Damn it.

I didn't think of that.


-It must be convenient.

Kids are like, youplaying freeze tag?

No, we're all kind ofhaving chest pains.

We're not moving around today.That's what's--


-I mean, that's whythey had to get rid

of dodgeball-- thepoor kids can't dodge.

They're just-- oh, Ihave chest pains now.

You know who thinks we're fat?


They all think we're thehumongous, like dinosaurs.

Now that's the weirdthing, you go to Europe

and you go a countryand they'll have

all these strongopinions about America.

And we don't have the firstopinion about their country

at all.

I was in Swedenand they were like,

in Sweden we say Americansare fat and lazy.

What do you say about us?

That you're vikings.


-You guys wear the hats.

You rape and pillageThat's about all

I know about your culture.

Is weed legal here?