Jim Jefferies - "Wonderwall"

The Comedy Jam Season 1, Ep 1 08/28/2016 Views: 3,483

After Jim Jefferies ran into a fellow comic who had gotten him embroiled in a sex controversy, the duo ended up hanging out with Oasis's Noel Gallagher. (7:31)

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This is, uh...

this is very exciting for me.

I, uh, very early onin my life,

I wanted to be a singer.

I actually studied musicaltheater at university,

and I dreamed ofbeing a singer--

actually sang for theAustralian Opera twice.

That's not a big achievement.

It's...

What happened was,

I thought I was gonna bea singer, and I smoked,

and I--coke, and drank,and sang too much, and...

I [bleep] blew my voice outand I had nodules.

And they cut the nodules off,and a doctor said

that I would never,ever sing again.

And I'm hereto prove him right.

[cheers and applause]

So during that timewith my nodules,

I was silent for three months.I couldn't talk.

I just had to sit therewith a pad,

and I knew I'd neversing again.

I thought,"what will I do for a job?"

And I started watchingEddie Murphy's "Delirious"

and Richard Pryor's"Live in Concert"

and I watched them overand over and over again,

and I decided the first thingI would say

when I could talk again is,"I want to be a comedian."

And that's what I did.I became a comedian.

I was heavily influencedby those two comics.

I used to tell a lot of storiesabout how hard it is

to be black manliving in Sydney.

Then you cut to15 years later,

I was recordingmy first special,

and I was in London,and I came out,

and I went out to the most--Soho House in London,

the most exclusive barin London,

and I was all [bleep] up.

I was in the bar,and I saw Russell Brand.

Now I got to jump back, now.

I got to jump back five yearsearlier in this story.

Russell Brand was a radio DJ inBritain before he came out here.

And he did a radio stuntwhere he rang up Manuel

from "Fawlty Towers."

We all know the sitcom,"Fawlty Towers."

Manuel from "Fawlty Towers."

An actor called Andrew Sachs.

And he left some voice messageson Andrew Sachs' phone

that went like this,"I [bleep] your granddaughter."

Now...

He left a few of them.

Now, a few people thoughtthat was in poor taste,

ringing a man up and saying,"I [bleep] your granddaughter."

So after that, they ring everysingle comedian up

who seemed to be offensive,and they asked the question,

"when has comedy gone too far?"

And they rang me up,and I said, "Well, look,

"I'll never tell a comicwhen not to say a joke,

"but yes, I think in this case,he probably shouldn't have

rung her grandfather up."

And then the reporter said,

"What about whenyou [bleep] her?"

Now, I have to cut back...

I have to cut backanother five years.

I was at the Edinburgh Festival,I was a young comic,

and I [bleep] Manuel from"Fawlty Towers'" granddaughter.

But--

[cheers and applause]

The difference between meand Russell Brand is,

I didn't ringher grandfather up.

I'm just tellingthe story on television

many, many years later.

So anyway, I'm in Soho Houseand I bump into Russell Brand.

Now, I'm completely drunk,he's been sober for years.

And I walk up,and he sees me and he goes,

"Oh, Jim Jefferies,so wonderful to see you."

Like...

And I said, "Mate, you owe mea [bleep] drink, mate."

And he goes, "Why would I everowe you a drink?"

And I said,"Because I had sex with

Manuel from "Fawlty Towers'"granddaughter, as well,

"and I didn't tell anyone,but I got a lot of shit,

because you did it."

And he went, "Oh, wasn't shegrubby? She needed a wash."

At this stage, I'm drunk,talking to Russell,

I've known him for a few years,

And in walks in Noel Gallagher from Oasis.

Now, I love Oasis,and he he's sober as well,

but I freak out, like, "NoelGallagher, it's Noel Gallagher."

And so he comes and joinsRussell, they're best mates,

and it's like the three of usare a group now.

We're just standing,and I'm like--[mumbles]

Just joining in with theconversation, and eventually,

Noel just looks at me, and thenturns to Russell and goes,

"Who's this guy?"

Right?

And Russell goes,"Ooh, I'm ever so sorry,

this is the wonderfulJim Jefferies."

[cheers and applause]

And then Noelput his hand out and said,

"What do you do?"

And I said, "I [bleep] Manuelfrom "Fawlty Towers'"

granddaughter, as well."

[cheers and applause]

Then they just quietlyturned away from me.

I was that guyon the end, like,

"I'm just gonna geteveryone a drink.

Just get everyone a drink."

So I'm gonna doan Oasis song now.

[cheers and applause]

[Oasis's "Wonderwall" playing]

Okay, we're gonna sing"Wonderwall."

[cheers and applause]

♪ Today is gonna be the day

♪ But they'll neverthrow it back to you ♪

♪ By now you should've somehow ♪

♪ Realized what you got to do

♪ I don't believe that anybody ♪

♪ Feels the way I do

♪ About you now

♪ Back beat the wordis on the street ♪

♪ That the firein your heart is out ♪

♪ I'm sure you'veheard it all before ♪

♪ But you never reallyhad a doubt ♪

♪ I don't believe that anybody ♪

♪ Feels the way I do

♪ About you now

♪ And all the roadswe have to walk ♪

♪ Are winding

♪ And all the lightsthat lead us there ♪

♪ Are blinding

♪ There are many things that I

♪ Would like to say to you

♪ But I don't know how ♪

♪ 'Cause maybe ♪

♪ You're gonna be the one that ♪

♪ Saves me

♪ And after all

♪ You're my wonderwall ♪

♪ Today was gonna be the day

♪ But they'll neverthrow it back to you ♪

♪ By now you should've somehow ♪

♪ Realized what yougot to do ♪

♪ I don't believe that anybody ♪

♪ Feels the way I do

♪ About you now

♪ And all the roads

♪ We have to walk

♪ Are winding

♪ And all the lights

♪ That lead us there

♪ Are blinding

♪ There are many things that I

♪ Would like to say to you

♪ But I don't know how ♪

♪ 'Cause maybe ♪

♪ You're gonna be the one ♪

♪ That saves me

♪ And after all

♪ You're my wonderwall ♪

♪ I said maybe

♪ You're gonna be the one that ♪

♪ Saves me

- ♪ Saves me - ♪ Saves me

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]