Rob Stapleton - Love Ass

  • Season 2 , Ep 6
  • 02/17/2012
  • Views: 3,552

Rob Stapleton demonstrates the best way to observe a good ass. (2:50)

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I LOVE-- WOMEN-- NEW YORKGOT SOME OF THE FINEST WOMEN

IN THE WORLD--YA'LL, I SWEAR.

I AIN'T SAYIN' IT'CAUSE I'M HERE.

YA'LL DO.

I LOVE ASS--YOU LOVE ASS?

YOU LOVE D--YOU LOVE ASS?

I LOVE ASS.

YOU SEE ASS COMING,YOU BE HAPPY.

YOU EVER BE WIT' YOUR LADY,AND ASS IS COMIN'?

YOU BE LIKE,"OOH, THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

"GONNA BE GOOD--"SHE GET CLOSE.

YOU ACT LIKE A LITTLE KID--YOU-- SHE WALK PAST.

YOU MAKE THAT BULLSHIT EXCUSE,AND BE LIKE TURN AROUND,

AND BE LIKE, "WHERE'DWE PARK THAT CAR AT?

"YEAH, YEAH,THEY'RE CRAZY."

WE LOVE LADIES.

YOU EVER HAD, FELLAS, YOUEVER HAVE SOME STUFF SO GOOD

YOU BE AT WORK AND REMINISCEABOUT WHAT HAPPENED

THE NIGHT BEFORE?

YOU HAVE SOME STUFFSO GOOD YOU BE LIKE--

"SHE CRAZY, MAN--SHE IS CRAZY."

LADIES, YOU EVER HAVESOME STUFF SO GOOD,

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TO WORKAT 9:00, YOU GET THERE AT 7:15?

"HI, KEISHA!"

"BITCH, YOU WALKED TODAY."

"I KNOW--HI, RUSSELL!"

YOU KNOW-YOU KNOW,WHITE PEOPLE JOIN THE GYM,

BUT WHITE--BLACK PEOPLE JOIN THE GYM,

BUT WHITE PEOPLEJOIN THE GYM.

YOU EVER NOTICE THAT?

WHITE PEOPLE JOIN THE GYM.

BLACK PEOPLE,WE JUST GET A-A PLAN,

SO LEGALLY, WE CANCOME INTO THE GYM.

YOU SEE, WHITE PEOPLE--WHITE PEOPLE JOIN THE GYM,

AND THEY'LL BE LIKE, "YEAH,YEAH"-- "YOU WANT A"-- "YEAH."

PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "DO YOUWANT ONE YEAR, THREE YEARS?"

"YEAH, YEAH--I WANT FULL-TERM.

"YEAH, I WANT LIFETIME.

"YEAH.

"WHY WOULD I ONLYSIGN FOR TWO YEARS?

"NO, MY KIDS ARE GONNA GOTO COLLEGE.

"I'M GONNA SEE THEM--YEAH."

THEY'LL BE LIKE,"WHAT DO YOU WANNA WORK ON?"

"I WANT CARDIO--I WANT SOME CARDIO."

BLACK PEOPLE BE LIKE,"WHAT YOU WANNA WORK ON?"

"MY ARMS--I WANNA KNOCK A [bleep] OUT.

"YOU KNOW WHATI'M SAYIN'?"

THEY BE LIKE,"YOU WANT A PERSONAL TRAINER?"

"HOW MUCH IS THAT--THREE HUNDRED."

"THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!"

YA'LL SEE A BLACKPERSON IN THE GYM

DON'T KNOW HOWTO USE THE EQUIPMENT?

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODYTRYING TO BREAK IN A CAR.

[laughing]

USING THE EQUIPMENTALL WRONG.

"OH, I'M ON ITBACKWARDS?

"OH, THAT'S HOWYA'LL DO IT HERE?

"ALL RIGHT.

"I AIN'T GONNA PAYEXTRA FOR THAT SHIT.

"I AIN'T GONNA PAY--"YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?

'CAUSE BLACK PEOPLE,WE NEED TO DO BETTER.

WE NEED TO DO BETTER--WE NEED TO TRY THINGS.

YA'LL KNOW THAT--'CAUSE BLACK PEOPLE,

WE ONLY DO FIVEDIFFERENT THINGS.

WE DO--WE GO TO ESSENCE,

ATLANTA, MIAMI,COSTCO, AND IHOP.

THAT'S THE ONLYTHING WE DO.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIMEA BLACK PERSON WENT CAMPING?

YOU DON'T GO CAMPING.

MY WHITE FRIEND ASKED MEA COUPLE OF WEEKS TO GO CAMPING.

I AIN'T KNOW WHATTHE HELL IT WAS.

HE SAID,"ROB, LET'S GO CAMPING."

I WAS LIKE,"WHAT-- WHAT-- WHAT'S THAT?"

HE SAID, "WE'RE GONNAGO IN THE MOUNTAINS.

"PITCH, YOU KNOW,PITCH A TENT.

"MAKE A FIRE--TELL STORIES.

"EAT S'MORES."

I WAS LIKE, "THEN WEGONNA WATCH THE GAME?"

I WAS LIKE--"HERE, ROB-- COME ON.

"THERE'S NO RUNNINGWATER OR ELECTRICITY.

"IT'S WHY THEYCALL IT CAMPING."

I'M LIKE, "NO RUNNINGWATER AND ELECTRICITY?

"SHIT, WHERE I COME FROM,WE CALL THAT THE PROJECTS.

"YEAH."

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