Kevin Meaney - Phone Sex

  • Season 2 , Ep 7
  • 07/02/1999
  • Views: 3,206

Kevin Meaney tried phone sex once. (2:12)

ARE ALWAYS CALLING MEOUT IN CALIFORNIA NOW.

WHAT THEY DO, THEY CALL USTO FIND OUT WHAT TIME IT IS.

"WHAT TIME IS IT OUT THERE?"

"IT'S THREE HOURS DIFFERENCE,MOM, WORK IT OUT ON PAPER."

"YOU'RE PROBABLY ON THATCORDLESS PHONE, AREN'T YOU?

"WALKING AROUND WITHOUT A CORD.

"WHEN WE WERE KIDS,WE HAD CORDS

"AND WE WERE HAPPY.

"WE WERE TETHERED TOTHE BASE UNIT IN THE KITCHEN.

"MR. HOLLYWOODWITH YOUR CORDLESS PHONES

AND YOUR HOT TUBSAND YOUR PHONE SEX!"

HAS ANYBODY TRIEDTHE PHONE SEX HERE?

OKAY, JUST ME, VERY GOOD.

JUST ME AND CLINTONARE THE ONLY ONES

THAT'VE EVER HADTHE PHONE SEX.

NOBODY'S EVER TRIEDPHONE SEX?

I GUESS THOSE COMMERCIALS ON TVLATE AT NIGHT ARE JUST FOR ME.

"KEVIN, YOU WATCHING TV?"

"AAH!"

"CALL ME.

LET'S HAVE SEXON THE PHONE."

IS ANYBODY NOTICING

I'M USING THE OLD-STYLECOMEDIAN PHONE FOR THIS ROUTINE?

VERY DIFFICULT HAVING PHONE SEXWITH THE ANDY GRIFFITH PHONE.

"ARE YOU TOUCHING YOURSELF?"

"I CAN'T.

"I'M ONTHE ANDY GRIFFITH PHONE.

"HOLD ON.

LET ME RUB UPAGAINST SOMETHING."

I TRIED PHONE SEX ONCE, I DID.

I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.

UH, I GOT MY PENIS STUCKIN THE NINE.

"GETTING YOUR PENIS STUCKIN THE NINE...

THAT'S NOT RIGHT."

"DON'T YOU REALIZEOTHER PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE

HAVE TO USE THAT PHONE?"

MY AUNT ROSE FOUND OUT.

"OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

"KEVIN GOT HIS PENIS STUCKIN THE NINE.

"THEY HAD TO CALL THE FIREDEPARTMENT TO GET IT OUT.

"THERE HE WAS IN THE UPSTAIRSHALLWAY, DIALING 911.

"ALL THE NEIGHBORS WERE ON THEFRONT LAWN, ROARING, LAUGHING.

"I TOLD PAT SHE SHOULD HAVEGOTTEN A PUSH-BUTTON

"A LONG TIME AGO.

THESE KIDS,THEY PUT IT ANYWHERE."

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