Joey Kola - Nothing Out There

  • Season 7 , Ep 21
  • 07/10/2003
  • Views: 1,624

There's nothing to see in space. (1:58)

Joey Kola: YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES

ME OFF MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

THE SPACE PROGRAM.

I HATE EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO

WITH SPACE.

I'M LIKE THE ONLY PERSON.

EVERYBODY'S ENAMORED WITH SPACE.

"OH, SPACE!

SPACE!"

YOU GUYS REALIZE, A COUPLE YEARS

AGO, WE LOST A $40 MILLION

SATELLITE.

ANYBODY SEE IT?

ANYBODY SEE THE SATELLITE?

ANYBODY SEE IT?

YOU SEE IT?

DID YOU SEE?

NOBODY SAW IT.

$40 MILLION GONE, NOBODY SAW IT.

YET NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING!

YET THE PRICE OF GAS GOES UP,

STAMP GOES UP, WE'RE ALL GOIN'

CRAZY.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WENT UP,

BA-BA-BA-BA-BA."

WE-- BUT CNN POPS A PICTURE OF

MARS ON ONE DAY, AND ALL OF

A SUDDEN WE'RE LIKE, "OH, HONEY,

LOOK, MARS.

OOH.

LET'S GIVE MORE MONEY TO THE

SPACE PROGRAM."

THEY JUST LOST $40 MILLION!

[APPLAUSE]

I'M MISSIN' 10 BUCKS OUT OF

MY CHECKING ACCOUNT, MY WIFE'S

ON THE PHONE WITH AMERICA'S

MOST WANTED, YET WE DON'T SAY

ANYTHING.

"HONEY, IT'S SPACE.

GIVE ME THE WALLET.

HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?"

"SPACE.

HONEY, THEY NEED MONEY FOR

SPACE.

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW, THEY'RE DOIN'

SOMETHING, MARS, THEY FOUND

WATER."

WHO CARES ABOUT THE-- WHO CARES?

THERE'S PEOPLE IN HOSPITAL BEDS

WITH THEIR ASSES HANGIN' OUT WHO

NEED THAT MONEY!

[LAUGHTER]

YET WE'VE-- WASTE MONEY ON CRAP

THAT WE KNOW THERE'S NUTHIN'

OUT THERE?

THERE'S NUTHIN' THERE,

YA FRIGGIN' MORONS!

THERE'S NUTHIN' THERE!

AND WE BETTER--

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANKS.

WE HAVEN'T BEEN BACK TO THE

MOON.

TECHNOLOGY'S BETTER, MORE MONEY

NOW.

WHY HASN'T A BIG CORPORATION

JUMPED ON THAT?

GONE UP TO THE MOON AND USED

THE MOON FOR ADVERTISING SPACE?

EVERYBODY SEES THE MOON.

YOU COULD BE IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS, FAR AWAY

FROM ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING,

"LOOK, HONEY, THE MOON!

THE MOON IS THERE!"

DON'T YOU THINK NIKE WOULD HAVE

SHOT A ROCKET UP THERE, PUT A

BIG SWOOSH MARK, "JUST DO IT!"

"LOOK, HONEY, IT'S A NIKE MOON."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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