Extended - Survivors of 2016: Not Lost and Not Forgotten - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, December 15, 2016 - Uncensored 12/15/2016 Views: 413

Andy Richter, Diona Reasonover and Matt Besser celebrate the famous people who made it through 2016 unscathed. (2:46)

Uh, we have to get...

We get-get real, a little bit.

We lost a lot of amazing artists

and human beings in 2016, it was

really sad.

But... but a lot of people are

still alive, too, you guys.

(cheering, applause)

M... Yeah.

I know, you're here and they're

here, I'm here, and that

probably makes you angry, but

fuck you.

So instead of despairing, let's

celebrate all the people who

made it through 2016, battling

tooth and nail against

self-driving Ubers and Nate

Silver's election predictions to

stay alive.

So, comedians, I'm gonna show

you a picture of a celebrity who

is thankfully still with us and

I want you to tell us how they

survived.

First up, Betty White.

Amazing.

(cheering, applause)

I know, she's still here.

Matt Besser.

>> I know why, and I have

first-hand experience.

By fucking extras.

Young extras.

>> HARDWICK: Okay, all right.

Points.

We-Well, do you have one?

>> I got one.

Uh, I was just gonna say, uh,

she's kept alive by her goddamn

genius.

And I'm not gonna sit here and

let anybody bad-mouth Betty

fucking White!

>> HARDWICK: All right, points.

Did you want to throw one in,

Diona?

>> Uh, she exercises daily by...

♪ Travelin' down the road and

back again. ♪

>> HARDWICK: Nice, very good.

That was very nice of you to

bring that up, you're a friend

and a confidant.

Uh...

Next up, the Buse.

Gary Busey.

Seen here after getting beaten

with Negan's bat, uh, Lucille.

Andy Richter.

>> Uh, the-the secret to him

staying alive is that he

actually thinks he's dead.

>> HARDWICK: "I'm a ghost."

>> Yeah, he thinks this is the

afterlife.

>> HARDWICK: "I'm a ghost."

>> Yeah, yeah.

>> HARDWICK: "Y'all can't see

me-- I'm a ghost.

I'm just passin' through.

I'm... I keep tryin' to run to

the light.

I don't know what's supposed to

happen."

Uh, yeah, I'll give you points

for that.

Next up, former president Jimmy

Carter.

How is he still alive?

Diona.

>> I'm a millennial, and I don't

know who that is.

>> HARDWICK: Great. Perfect.

Points.

>> Points? Wow.

>> HARDWICK: Points.

>> Ugh, you got...

Easy street.

>> HARDWICK: Next one, Lindsay

Lohan!

Andy Richter.

>> Actually, death has come for

her a number of times.

He just doesn't recognize her

anymore.

>> HARDWICK: Points.

All right, next up, 100 years

old-- just turned 100-- Kirk

Douglas.

Kirk Douglas.

Matt Besser.

>> He won't die 'cause the Grim

Reaper is afraid he'll take his

job.

>> HARDWICK: All right, points.

Points.

And the last one, Queen

Elizabeth II.

Queen Elizabeth II.

Andy Richter.

>> Well, because of all the

inbreeding, she only has four

chromosomes.

They're very sturdy.

>> HARDWICK: Points.

She can't...

>> They're like table legs.

>> HARDWICK: Yeah.