Aries Spears - Drinking

  • Season 9 , Ep 15
  • 05/19/2005
  • Views: 21,816

No one can out drink white people. (1:44)

YEAH, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HOME

BACK HERE IN NEW YORK CITY.

Y'ALL GOOD, EVERYBODY GOOD?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I SEE EVERYBODY HERE.

WE GOT A NICE MIXING,

MELTING POT OF PEOPLE HERE.

WE GOT SOME BLACK FOLKS,

SOME WHITE FOLKS, AND HOW YOU

DOIN', BLACK PEOPLE?

[CHEERING]

THERE WAS A LOT OF WHITE PEOPLE

THAT WAS, "HEY!"

IT AIN'T EVEN FEBRUARY AND

Y'ALL CHIMING IN.

THAT'S GOOD.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND I WANT Y'ALL TO KNOW,

JUST 'CAUSE I TALK ABOUT WHITE

PEOPLE I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK

I DON'T LIKE Y'ALL.

I LIKE Y'ALL.

I DO A LOT OF FUN THINGS WITH

Y'ALL.

YOU KNOW, BUT I CAN'T DRINK WITH

Y'ALL 'CAUSE EVERY TIME I DO

A SHOW, AFTER THE SHOW,

WHITE PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT YOU

TO DRINK WITH THEM.

LIKE, "C'MON, C'MON, LET'S GO

DRINK."

YA KNOW, AND I LIKE Y'ALL,

I JUST CAN'T DRINK WITH Y'ALL.

'CAUSE WHITE PEOPLE, Y'ALL ARE

THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPS OF

DRINKING.

CAN'T NOBODY OUT DRINK Y'ALL.

Y'ALL DRINK 'TIL Y'ALL FALL

THE HELL OUT, YOU KNOW.

SEE BLACK PEOPLE, WE LIKE TO GET

OUR GROOVE ON AND WE DRINK

JUST ENOUGH AND WE TRY TO

PHILOSOPHIZE AND GET SMOOTH

ON YOU.

WE'LL FALL ASLEEP ON YOUR ASS.

WE TALK ABOUT "MAN, WE NEED

TO END THE HYPOCRISY OF

THE WHITE MAN AND [SNORES]."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WHITE PEOPLE BOY.

I KNOW WHEN WHITE PEOPLE

GET GOOD AND DRUNK TOO

'CAUSE Y'ALL GOT THAT NOISE

Y'ALL MAKE, Y'ALL GO, "WOOOO!"

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T SO THAT.

THAT SCARES ME.

AND I LIKE TO GO TO THE

FRAT HOUSE AND DRINK WITH

MY WHITE FRIENDS 'CAUSE ANYTIME

YOU GO DRINKING AT THE

FRAT HOUSE, WHITE BOYS BRING YOU

A DRINK AND HAND IT TO YOU LIKE

IT'S A TOP CIA SECRET, YA KNOW.

THEY'LL HAND ME MY DRINK AND

I'LL GO, "MAN, WHAT THE HELL IS

IN THIS?"

"DUDE, DON'T WORRY, DON'T ASK,

JUST DRINK IT."

"I'LL SEE YOU IN 20 MINUTES."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NEXT THING YOU KNOW I'M

BUCK NAKED STANDING ON THE

COFFEE TABLE WITH A COWBOY HAT

GOING, "WOOOOOOO!"

[LAUGHTER]

SO DON'T DRINK AROUND ME, MAN.

AND IT'S FUNNY, I JOKE

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