Word From Your Mother - Burnt Penis

  • Season 1 , Ep 01011
  • 01/22/2014
  • Views: 469

Chris reads some autocorrected texts from moms, and it is up to the panelists to reply. (2:31)

MOTHER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THANKS TO AUTO CORRECT, MOTHERS

AND TEXT MESSAGING IS A VERY

DANGEROUS/HILARIOUS COMBINATION.

COMEDIANS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU

GUYS SOME PRICKLY AUTO CORRECTED

TEXTS MOMS SENT THEIR KIDS

AND FOR 250 POINTS, YOU RING

IN WITH A REPLY.

LET'S BEGIN.

"YOUR FATHER BURNT HIS

PENIS IN THE MICROWAVE.

BURNT PENIS."

WHY IS IT CAPITALIZED?

(LAUGHTER)

SEAN.

>> AH, MAN, ARE WE HAVING DAD'S

DICK FOR DINNER AGAIN?

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT, LET'S

SEE THE ACTUAL TEXT.

"EW, MOM, WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

YOUR FATHER BURNT HIS PENIS

IN THE MICROWAVE.

BURNT PENIS.

WHAT THE HECK?

BURNT P-CORN.

P-CORN, YOU MEAN POPCORN?

YES, P-CORN."

POINTS TO SEAN O'CONNOR.

>> MOM, I KNOW DAD COOKS

TOO FAST, BUT PLEASE STOP

CALLING YOUR VAGINA

"THE MICROWAVE."

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT.

NEXT ONE, "EMOTIONAL AND VERY

HORNY.

BY THE WAY, HOW ARE YOUR

SHOULDERS AND BACK FEELING.

JUST ASKING?"

ANNIE.

>> A LOT WORSE SINCE YOU

TOLD ME THIS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: LET'S SEE WHAT THE

ACTUAL TEXT SAID.

"I AM LITERALLY GOING TO KILL

MYSELF AFTER READING THAT."

THE MOM IS LIKE "DON'T BE

CRAZY NOW, DON'T BE CRAZY.

MOMMY WAS JUST BEING A

LITTLE EMOTIONAL AND HORNY

FOR A MINUTE."

>> I FEEL LIKE ALL OF OUR

MOMS FEEL LIKE THAT AFTER

THEY READ "50 SHADES OF GRAY".

>> Chris: THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.

THAT IS TOTALLY WHAT IT WAS.

I'LL GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT,

ANNIE.

>> NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION

TO THE PERSON SAYING THAT

THEY LITERALLY WERE GOING TO

KILL THEMSELVES AND THEN ARE

DYING.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

NEXT ONE, "DICK IS COMING IN

MY VULVA.

DICK IS COMING IN MY VULVA,

DICK IS COMING IN MY VULVA

AT 7:00."

YES, ANNIE.

>> STOP NAMING YOUR SEX TOYS

AFTER MY UNCLE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: LET'S SEE WHAT THE

ACTUAL ANSWER WAS.

"VOLVO, MOM?

YES, VULVA!"

(LAUGHTER)

>> IT'S THE SAFEST VAGINA ON

THE MARKET.

>> Chris: IT REALLY IS.

>> I DRIVE A '97 CERVIX.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS FOR THAT ONE,

JULIAN.

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