Steve Oedekerk - Duh

Season 1 , Ep 0142 02/24/92 Views: 314

As you get older, you stop saying useful stuff. (4:42)

POP A WHEELIE.

POP A WHEELIE.

VERY DISCONCERTING, ISN'T IT?

I'M TELLING YOU THIS, USE THIS.

"POP A WHEELIE"IS NOT JUST A JOKE.

FOR EXAMPLE, YOU COULD BE

AT THE MOST IMPORTANTMEETING OF THE YEAR AT WORK.

NOBODY EVERY PAYSANY ATTENTION TO YOU.

THEY'RE NOT THAT INTERESTEDIN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY

AND ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS GO,"POP A WHEELIE"

AND YOU'RE THE CENTEROF ATTENTION, MAN.

THAT IS POWER.

AND IT WORKS BECAUSE PEOPLETHINK THEY HEARD YOU WRONG.

NOBODY THINKS YOU'D SAY"POP A WHEELIE."

IT WORKS WITH OTHER STUFF.

"WHERE'S BOZO?" IS GREAT

BECAUSE YOU CAN ASK SOMEBODY"WHERE'S BOZO?"

AND THEY WILL SAY"WHAT?" EVERY TIME.

NO MATTER HOW CLEARLY YOU SAY IT

THEY WILL NEVER SAY,"I DON'T KNOW WHERE BOZO IS.

I HAVE NOT SEEN BOZO LATELY."

THE BOTTOM LINE IS YOU GET OLDER

YOU STOP SAYING USEFUL STUFF.

THIS IS A FACT.

CASE IN POINT IS "DUH."

DUH?

YOU GET OLDER,YOU THINK IT'S IMMATURE.

BUT A LOT OF ADULTSSTILL NEED THAT.

SAY YOU'RE AT THE BANK.

"WILL YOU BE DEPOSITING THATINTO YOUR ACCOUNT?"

( laughter )

DUH.

IT'S MUCH BETTER IF YOU LET ITGET RIPE LIKE THAT.

JUST KIND OF...

DUH.

YOU CAN'T EVEN WASHYOUR CAR ANYMORE

WITHOUT HAVINGSOME NEIGHBOR RUN OUT.

"WASHING YOUR CAR, HUH?"

DOY.

MAKE ME.

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE LOST"MAKE ME."

IN A BUSINESS SITUATION,"MAKE ME" IS GOLD.

JOHNSON, HAVE THAT PAPERON MY DESK BY 3:00.

MAKE ME.

( laughter )

LOVE DOING THAT.

YOU SHOULD ALL DO THAT.

JUST SHOW UP AT WORK AND GO...

( laughter )

GET SOME RESPECT,I TELL YOU THAT.

THIS IS REALLY STUPID.

I'M TELLING YOU THAT NOWSO YOU WON'T FIND ME LATER

AND GO, "HEY,THAT WAS REALLY STUPID."

I KNOW IT IS,BUT I'M VERY PROUD OF THIS.

I THOUGHT IT UP.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THISIS THE AMAZING BALLOON THING.

I NEED A DRUM ROLLON THE TABLE FROM SOMEBODY.

THE AMAZING... BALLOON...

( drum roll on table )

THING.

( laughter and applause )

OH, YEAH.

SURE.

AND PLEASE DO NOTTRY THAT AT HOME

BECAUSE YOU COULDCRUSH YOUR HEAD.

ALL RIGHT, SO...

I LIKE PLAYING PRACTICAL JOKES!

GET A SMALL TAPE RECORDERMUCH LIKE THIS ONE.

GO TO ANY PUBLIC PLACE,SLIP IT INTO A BLANKET

THEN JUST TURN IT ON LIKE AT THE MALL OR SOMETHING.

( fake baby talk )

( baby crying )

( screaming )

( crying stops )

( baby talk )

YEAH, IT'S FUN, BUT IF YOU WANTTO BLOW PEOPLE OUT, DO THIS.

HI... OKAY.

NOW, SAY HELLO TO THE NICE LADY.

Man's voice:Hello, nice lady.

NOW PLAY THE TRUMPET.

( trumpet playing "First Call" )

THIS IS FUN--

GO INTO A 7-11ANY PART OF THE DAY

AND JUST GO, "YEAH,DO YOU SELL DIAPERS HERE?"

I REALLY NEED THESE BADLY.

OKAY, BEST ONE!

BABIES CONSTANTLY CRY IN CHURCH.

GET A LITTLE REVENGE IN MASS.

WAIT UNTIL IT'S REAL QUIETAND DO THIS.

( cute baby talk )

( imitating screeching cars )

( applause )

HEY, THANKS A LOT, FOLKS!

APPRECIATE IT.

THANKS.

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