Uncensored - Trevor Moore - "The Ballad of Billy John"

Trevor Moore: High in Church Season 1, Ep 101 03/06/2015 Views: 6,445

Trevor Moore sings about the tragic tale of a loving couple who tried to do something nice on the Internet. (4:10)

Watch Full Episode

This next song is a folk songthat I just recently wrote.

It's called The Ballad of Billy John.

[drummer counting off]

[melodic acoustic guitar]

♪ Billy Johnwas a simple man ♪

♪ Worked in the fieldsmost his life ♪

♪ Provided for his wifeand kids ♪

♪ And left his dreamson the side ♪

♪ One day when the kidsleft home ♪

♪ Well, he picked uphis guitar ♪

♪ It had been a while

♪ But his fingers still knewhow to reach the heart ♪

♪ He played a songabout life and love ♪

♪ His hopes and regrets

♪ Then with a little proddingfrom the missus ♪

♪ He put it on the Internet

♪ When the viewsstarted pouring in ♪

♪ Tears of joystarted to fall ♪

♪ Then they scrolledto the comments section ♪

♪ And this is what they saw

♪ Eat a bag of shit,cunt-face ♪

♪ Go and blow your fucking dad

♪ This shitjust raped my ears ♪

♪ Never heard nothing so bad

♪ I hope you fucking die

♪ And I hope you get AIDS

♪ You should justkill yourself ♪

♪ You're a fag,LOL gay ♪

[harmonica break]

♪ Billy John's wifewatched her husband ♪

♪ As he shruggedand tried to smile ♪

♪ He put his guitar away

♪ But stopped and stared at itfor a while ♪

♪ She knew he feltlike a fool ♪

♪ And he'd never play again

♪ So she turned on her webcam

♪ And let her message begin

♪ She said

♪ The man you've hurt tonight

♪ I've watched for 35 years

♪ He's got a kindand gentle soul ♪

♪ And thanks to you,that soul's in tears ♪

♪ And the people said

♪ Shut the fuck up, fatty

♪ Show us your tits

♪ 1 out of 10,I wouldn't bang ♪

♪ I bet she'd tryto eat your dick ♪

♪ You should go get sterilized

♪ So that you can't have kids

♪ Then they PhotoShoppeda bunch of pictures ♪

♪ Of her covered in jizz

[harmonica break]

♪ Well, the video went viral

♪ 57 million hits

♪ Billy John's wifebecame a meme on the Internet ♪

♪ They played the clip on CNN

♪ And read tweetsabout her weight ♪

♪ 'Cause I guess that'sthe sort of thing ♪

♪ That the news does nowadays

♪ Now Billy John and his wifedid nothing wrong ♪

♪ And they weren't dumb

♪ They just hadn'tpaid attention ♪

♪ To what we'd all become

♪ And a couple weeks later

♪ After avoiding itfor some time ♪

♪ A broken-downand changed Billy John ♪

♪ Finally went back online

♪ He found a pageof a blogger ♪

♪ Still making fun of his wife

♪ He signed upand made an account ♪

♪ And this is what he typed

♪ Eat a bag of shit,cunt-face ♪

♪ Go and blow your fucking dad

♪ Your shit just raped my eyes

♪ Never read nothing so bad

♪ I hope you fucking die

♪ And I hope you get AIDS

♪ And the worldlost a Billy John ♪

♪ And it gainedmore of the same ♪

[harmonica outro]

[cheers and applause]

Thank you.