Tom Cotter - Stupid Phrases

Cotter, Blitz, Lombard, Cantone Season 3, Ep 305 01/22/2000 Views: 5,222

She's a party pooper? Keep her away from the dip. (1:42)

I DO.

YOU KNOW WHAT KILLS ME, THOUGH?

EVERY TIME I'MABOUT TO DO A SHOW

SOME IDIOT COMES UP TO MEAND SAYS, "HEY, BREAK A LEG."

SCREW YOU.

I HOPE YOU RUPTURE YOUR SPLEEN,YOU IDIOT.

WHAT KIND OF GREETING IS THAT?

NOW, THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHINGBY IT.

WE JUST DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT WE'RE SAYING

IN OUR LANGUAGE, DO WE?

"I DON'T WANTTO BEAT A DEAD HORSE."

I DON'T WANT YOU TO, EITHER.

"THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAYTO SKIN A CAT."

HOW MANY WAYS DO YOU NEED,YOU NAZI?

WE SAY STUPID STUFF.

"HE LOOKS DOWN HIS NOSE AT ME."

WELL, OF COURSE.

WE ALL LOOK DOWN OUR NOSE.

IF HE COULD LOOK UP HIS NOSEAT YOU

EITHER HE'D BE A FREAKOR YOU'D BE A BOOGER.

THOSE ARETHE ONLY OPTIONS.

"SHE'S A PARTY POOPER."

EW...

KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE DIP.

"HE'S ON THE LAM."

HE NEEDSA GIRLFRIEND IMMEDIATELY.

WE SAY DUMB STUFF.

"HEY, CAN I BEND YOUR EAR?"

SURE, IF I CAN POKE YOUIN THE EYE, YOU JACKASS.

MAN.

"BRIGHT-EYED AND BUSHY-TAILED."

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

BRIGHT-EYED AND BUSHY-TAILED ISA SQUIRREL ON CRACK.

THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.

( cheering )

"I DON'T GIVE

A RAT'S ASS."

WHO WANTSTO RECEIV A RAT'S ASS?

"SHE'LL BEND OVER BACKWARDSTO PLEASE YOU."

WHAT'S HER NUMBER?

HEY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,YOU'VE BEEN TREMENDOUS.