Who else is here tonight?

Uh, where's Spock?

And James Spader?

And Bones and Scottyand...

Oh, Bill,all your friends

are either deador they hate you.

To be fair, I'm a littleof column A

and a littleof column B.

But you look great.

You know, they make1% milk now.

Darling,you were supposed to

explore the galaxy.

Not fill it.

All joking aside,

Bill can bequite a charmer.

I'm not ashamed to say

that I oncehad sex with Bill Shatner.

[cheering]

Oh, you should have seen himsweating and grunting

and so red in the faceand wheezing.

Finally, I said, "Bill,you better hurry up and finish.

In two minutes, they'regonna start the roast."