Juston McKinney - Upgrade

  • Season 12 , Ep 16
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 157

They say a diamond is forever. Apparently, not the one I got. (2:20)

IT'S THE WORST.THEY SAY A DIAMOND IS FOREVER.

- APPARENTLY NOT THE ONE I GOT.- [LAUGHTER]

BUT SHE WON'TCOME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT.

I GIVE HER CREDIT FOR THAT.SHE'LL JUST DROP LITTLE HINTS.

SHE'LL BE-- "YOU SHOULD SEEKIM'S NEW 2.5 CARET RING.

"IT'S GORGEOUS.

KIM GOT A NEW 2.5 CARET RING.IT'S GORGEOUS."

SHE KEEPS UP, I'M GONNASTART DOING THAT TO HER.

"WELL, YOU SHOULD SEE KYLE'SNEW 22.5 YEAR OLD GIRLFRIEND...

[LAUGHTER, OH'S,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- SHE'S GORGEOUS."- [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

WE ALL WANT AN UPGRADE, HONEY.

MAYBE NEXT YEAR.

NO, LADIES. I KID.I THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING A R--

I WENT DOWN TO THE STORE.I LOOKED INTO THE UPGRADE.

BUT I DON'T TRUST THOSEDIAMOND DEALERS,

THOSE JEWELERS.THEY KNOW THAT US GUYS

KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHATWE'RE LOOKING AT IN THAT CASE.

THEY KNOW.THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US.I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.

I GO TO THE JEWELRY STOREAND I'M LOOKING IN THIS CASE

AND I'M LIKE, "HOW MUCHIS THIS ONE RIGHT HERE?"HE GOES, "THAT'S $5,000."

I GO, "HOW BIG IS IT?" HE GOES,"THAT'S ONE CARET." I'M LIKE,

"WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE DOWN HERE?"HE GOES, "THAT'S $15,000." I GO,

"HOW BIG IS THAT?""THAT'S ALSO A CARET.

BUT IT'S A MUCH BETTER DIAMOND."

I'M LIKE, "DUDE, IT LOOKSIDENTICAL TO ME." HE'S LIKE,

"OH, NO. IT'S NOT IDENTICAL.HERE. LOOK THROUGH THIS."

RIGHT? AND THEY GIVE YOU THATLITTLE JEWELER'S LOOP, RIGHT,

THAT MAGNIFYING GLASS.HE'S LIKE, "DO YOU SEE THAT

LITTLE IMPERFECTIONIN THE LOWER LEFT?"

"NO. I DON'T SEE $10,000FLOATIN' AROUND IN THERE,

"ASS FACE,I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH.ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I SEE A GUY TRYING TO SCREW ME."OH, YEAH. THERE IT IS.

I SEE A DICK IN A TIE.AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT?"

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

I DID GET THE ULTIMATUM.I DESERVED IT, THOUGH.

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