Rob Riggle - Giants vs. Patriots

Riggle, Dye, Huck, Graddick, Sullivan, Kinane, Winfield Season 4, Ep 0403 10/30/2009 Views: 8,467

Rob Riggle knows that nothing can go wrong when you get New York and Boston fans together in the same place. (4:14)

Football season's going on.

Getting ready to go.

Any football fans?

(cheering and applause,Riggle laughs)

Oh, I love it.

Doesn't it just...oh, the guys are all like...

(guttural gibbering)

Ready to bite into something.

I like that.

Oh, I love football-- I do--

and, uh,I was fortunate enough...

uh, a couple years ago,I got to go to the Super Bowl.

Uh... uh, the good peopleat Budweiser invited me.

I-I did a couple commercialsfor Budweiser

a couple years ago, and, uh,I can already...

don't even start, all right?

I can feel your eyeballs.

"What's up, Riggle?

What's up with that,corporate sellout?"

(grunting)

Whatever, all right?

It's not my fault Budweiser

is the perfect balanceof flavor and refreshment.

All right?

Has been since 1876.

It's true.

But it's Super Bowl tickets,so, yeah, I'm going.

So I went down.

And, like I said,it was a couple years ago.

It was when the Giantsplayed the Patriots.

(audience cheering)

It was a good game.It was a good game.

Um, I... I don't knowwhat I was thinking, though.

What could go wrong when you get

New York and Boston fanstogether?

In front of me,I've got, uh, um, Giants fans,

and behind me,I've got Patriots fans. Yeah.

I'm in a (bleep) sandwich.

That's the only wayto describe it.

And, literally,for four and a half hours,

this is what I-I-I...I got to listen to--

I got to listen to, uh, uh,the Patriots fans going,

"Hey, Manning's wicked queer!"

And then, the New York guysin front of me going,

"Hey, Brady, suck my balls!"

(nasal gibbering)

♪ Proud to be an American!

Doesn't get much betterthan that.

So the game was over,and it was a... it was a...

it was a good game, by the way--you all know that.

Um, and I was heading out,

and, uh... I got to the topof the steps,

and there was a... somethingI-I-I-I-I won't forget.

There was a father and a son,

and they were wearingmatching Tom Brady jerseys.

And the son was probablysix years old,

and he was cryinghis little eyes out.

He was hurting, Dad was hurting.

They were both really sad.

And I remember thinking,oh, you know what?

It's sad,but it's also one of those

wonderful Rockwellian moments

when a father gets to pass alongknowledge to his son

and life lessons.

Things like, "Hey, weren't notgoing to win them all,"

and,"You got to be a good loser

just like you gotto be a good winner,"

and, "It's not winning;it's how you played the game."

All these wonderful things.

This particular young manfrom New England...

he didn't get that speech.

This is the speechhe got instead-- uh, verbatim.

(clears throat)

Dad was down on one knee.

Boy is standing herecrying his eyes out.

"That's it.

"Cry your friggin' eyes out.

"And never forgetwho did this to you.

"New York did this to you!

New York!"

And the kid is going...(wailing, sobbing)

That kid is going...he is bell tower bound, y'all.

Someday, he's going,"New York!

New York!"

And I seewhat the dad's doing, okay?

And a lot of people were like,"Hey, what the...

you know, give him a...you know, what the hell?"

And I... but I sawwhat he was doing.

He's manningthe boy up early, ladies.

That's what he was doing.

A little tough love-- I get it.

So, he was zigging when others

would have zagged,basically, all right?

So I see this, and I...and I'm like, "Oh, okay.

I get it."

So, in my best New York accent,

I walk by the kid, and I go,"Yeah, (bleep) you!"

And the kid--(wailing) "What the...?"

And when the dad lookedat me like, "Hey."

I was like...(mumbling, muttering)

I'm with you.

I got it.

We are good. We are good.