Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls - It Belongs in a Museum

Wednesday, June 15, 2016 06/15/2016 Views: 279

Matt Walsh, Paget Brewster and Paul F. Tompkins determine how the subjects of weird portraits asked online artists to draw them. (3:09)

Looking for an interestingFacebook profile picture,

but you don't want to travelall the way to Italy

just to get a selfiewith some old statue's old dick?

Well, just go online tocommission an original portrait.

You just upload a photo,and redditors

will draw a picture of youor your dog

or the person you're stalking.

So, comedians, I'm gonna showyou an Internet source portrait

and user-submitted picture,and for 250 points,

I want you to tell me howthe subject asked to be drawn.

Uh, and please do itin the classic Titanic

Draw Me Like One of YourFrench Girls style, please.

-I'm begging you. All right.-Who said it,

-the girl or the guy?-It was the girl. Kate Winslet.

What's her name.What's her name. Sorry.

-HARDWICK: Yeah. Uh...-Kind of a popular movie, Matt.

-I mean, a lot of people...-I don't know who said it.

-Give it a watch sometime.-You know, acting like

you never saw Titanic a bunch of times

-doesn't make you any cooleror... -(laughter)

-manlier or... -I love that...I loved that movie!

-I know you did. Yeah, yeah.-I love that movie!

Yeah. Uh...

I'm still so (bleep) mad thatold lady threw the (bleep) thing

into the oceanat the end, though.

-(laughter)-That didn't have to happen!

Like, that wasa piece of history!

It could have gonein a museum or...

I (bleep)...Aw, man!

I wish Indiana Joneswould've just, like,

caught her on the wristwith a whip

-and just, like, yanked it up.-Ooh!

-Is that gonna be the nextIndiana Jones movie? -I wish.

(laughing):That's all it's gonna be.

He visits the Titanic.

-(as Rose): Good-bye, Jack!-(imitates whip cracking)

(as Indiana Jones):It belongs in a museum!

-(laughter)-That would've been amazing!

Would've have been(bleep) amazing.

-(whooping, applause)-And then...

she's like, "It's beautiful!"

Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah...And just melts.

That's what I want to see.Get on it, Hollywood.

First up, this fuzzy-faced dude.

(laughs):This fuzzy-faced dude.

What request did he make?


Draw me likeone of your were-pineapples

in mid-transformation.


Uh, Matt.

Draw me like a Sasquatchwho makes his own craft beer.

-(laughter)-Points. Points.

(applause, whooping)

Next, an open-mouthed girlin wonder.

(audience groans)


what did she promptthe artist for there?

Uh, Matt?

Draw me like one of yourfailed human rodent experiments.

-(laughter)-All right. Points.

Uh... Paget.

Uh, draw me likeI'm about to give you

a really painful blowjob.

-All right, points.-(laughter)

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there'sa lot of teeth in that one.

-(groaning)-There is a lot of gnawing...

Uh, Paul F. Tompkins.

Can I deviatefrom the form a little bit?

-Is that okay?-Please. Yeah.

Look... I'm notgonna get nude for you.

But work my vaginain there someplace.


(applause, whooping)

(man whistles)

Oh, wow, a whistle!

Like... like Georgia O'Keeffethis thing.



Next up, this disappointed dude.

-Aw.-(others aw'ing)

I know. What'd he ask for?What'd he ask for?

Uh, Paget.

Just... (bleep) my (bleep)all the way up.

(laughter, applause)

-(audience whooping)-Yeah.

Your (bleep) has beensuitably (bleep).