Uncensored - Steve Rannazzisi - World's Biggest A**hole Pt. 2

Steve Rannazzisi: Manchild Season 1, Ep 101 11/16/2013 Views: 9,364

Steve Rannazzisi makes a business arrangement with a homeless man. (2:11)

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FROM AROUND THE CORNER,COMES THIS HOMELESS GUY.

AND THIS GUY'S GOT A SQUEEGEEAND A BUCKET AND A SIGN.

AND HE GOES OVERTO THE ASSHOLE'S CAR FIRST.

AND HE'S LIKE, "HEY, MAN.CAN I SQUEEGEE YOUR WINDOWS?"

AND I'LL NEVER FORGET --

WITHOUT EVEN LOOKINGAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING,

THIS GUY CONTINUED TO TEXT,

AND ROLLED THE WINDOW UPIN THE HOMELESS GUY'S FACE.

DIDN'T EVEN LOOKAT ANOTHER PERSON.

SO, THEN THE HOMELESS GUYCOMES OVER TO ME.

HE'S LIKE, "HEY, MAN.CAN I SQUEEGEE YOUR WINDOWS?"

I SAID, "NO, NO, NO. COME HERE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"COME HERE."

I SAID, "I'M GONNAGIVE YOU $10, OKAY?

10 BUCKS."

AND HE WAS LIKE, "WHAT DO I HAVETO ACCOMPLISH TO RECEIVE $10?"

HE HAD NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE.

IT WAS ESSENTIALLY SAYING,"ALL HANDS ON DECK!"

LIKE, I HADA PERSONAL CONCIERGE.

THIS GUY WAS READY TO DO IT.HE WAS IN.

SO, I SAID, "THIS IS WHATI WANT YOU TO DO, MAN.

"FOR 10 BUCKS,

"I WANT YOU TO TAKEYOUR BUCKET OF SQUEEGEE WATER,

AND I WANT YOU TO DUMP ITINTO THAT GUY'S MOONROOF, OKAY?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW, GUYS, WHEN I TELL YOUMOST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

WOULD HAVE PAUSED AND THOUGHT

OF THE RAMIFICATIONSOF SUCH AN ACTION,

MAYBE MADE A LITTLEPROS-AND-CONS LIST,

THIS GUY WALKED UP TO MY CAR,

AND HE SMILED LIKE HE KNEWWHAT THE FUCK I KNEW.

HE HIGH-FIVED ME TWICE.

THEN HE RAN OVER TO THE BUCKET,GIVING ME THE GUNS,

LIKE HE HAD SEENIN SOME STOLEN DVD SOMEWHERE,

PICKED UP THAT BUCKET,

AND THEN DUMPED ITINTO THAT GUY'S MOONROOF

LIKE HE'D JUST WONTHE FUCKING SUPER BOWL.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YEAH.

IT WAS THE GREATEST $10 I'VEEVER SPENT NOT IN TIJUANA --

THE GREATEST.

I SAW HIM FOUR MONTHS AGO --THE HOMELESS GUY.

I SAW HIM FOUR MONTHS AGO,AND WE REMEMBERED EACH OTHER.

DO YOU KNOWWHAT KIND OF MENTAL IMPACT

YOU HAVE TO HAVEON A HOMELESS PERSON

TO HAVE THEM RECALLYOUR FACIAL STRUCTURE?

BUT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

IT WAS UNDENIABLE.IT WAS LIKE OUR "DIRTY DANCING."

I WAS LIKE SWAYZE,

HOISTING HOMELESS, SMELLYJENNIFER GREY ABOVE MY HEAD,

AND WE BOTH HADTHE TIME OF OUR LIVES.