Grimes's Adoption

  • Season 2 , Ep 207
  • 08/11/2011
  • Views: 10,923

Mark heads to the hospital after setting up Grimes and soulless pop star Dustin Lieber. (2:27)

TODAY'S TOPIC IS

GO...

O-O-O-O-O-O...

O-O-O-O-O-O...

O-O-O-O-O-OALS.

GOALS.WE ALL HAVE GOALS, DON'T WE?

- I WANT TO BE A REAL BOY.

- I WANT TO BE PRESIDENTOF UNITED STATES.

- [whispering indistinctly]

- DOUG WANTS TO STAB THINGS.

- ALL ADMIRABLE DREAMS.

HOWEVER, SINCE THE ADVENTOF NUVASOUL,

MANY PEOPLE ARE TAKINGA SHORTCUT TO SUCCESS...

[cell phone vibrating]

BY SELLING THEIR SOULS,LIKE DUSTIN HERE.

- I'M SIX MINUTES LATEFOR MY INTERVIEW WITH SEACREST.

CAN WE SPEED THIS UP?

- "INTERVIEW," RIGHT.

- YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERETILL YOUR SOUL CONTRACT

IS SIGNEDBY A LEGAL GUARDIAN.

THEM'S THE RULES.

- BUT MY PARENTS GAVE ME UP.I'M AN ORPHAN.

- MAYBE YOUR PARENTS SHOULD HAVEAPPRECIATED THE MIRACLE

OF HAVING A BABYWITH A PENIS!

[all gasp]

- HMM,KIND OF LOOKS LIKE

WE TAPPED INTO SOMETHING THERE.

- I WANTED A BOY, BUT VERACOULD NEVER STICK THE LANDING.

AFTER PUMPING OUT 15 GIRLS,

SHE FINALLY GAVE UPAND DITCHED ME

FOR "THE COUNT,"HER NEW VAMPIRE HUSBAND.

- I ALWAYS WANTEDA BUNCH OF SISTERS.

YOU KNOW,HELP ME WITH MY BANGS.

- I THINK YOU TWO MIGHT BE ABLETO HELP EACH OTHER.

- SO YOU'RE SAYING THATMY STRONG DESIRE FOR A SON...

- AND MY LEGAL NEEDFOR A PARENT...

both:ARE SOMEHOW RELATED?

- EXACTLY.EVERYONE WINS.

AH!

[groaning]

OKAY, I HAVE TO GOTO THE HOSPITAL NOW.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU GETFOR EATING IN THE COMMISSARY.

- OKAY, DO YOU NEED WATER?

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE?

DO YOU NEED A PILLOW?THEY HAVE PILLOWS HERE.

CAN SOMEBODYGET ME A PILLOW, PLEASE?

- AS YOUR NUVASOUL SALES REP,

WE APPRECIATE YOUSTICKING WITH NUVASOUL

AND NOT THOSE CRAPPY KNOCKOFFSLIKE SOULVITRA.

HERE, TAKE SOME FREE PENS.

- LEONARD, IS THATA NUVASOUL WINDBREAKER?

- YEAH, I DO SOME PHARM REPWORK ON THE SIDE.

I OWE A LOT OF BAD PEOPLEA LOT OF FILTHY MONEY.

- PEDDLING NUVASOUL?

I HATE TO SAY THIS,BUT I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

- WHAT?

OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.THIS IS TOTALLY BENEATH ME.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAYFOR ME TO EARN CASH ON THE SIDE.

THANKS, MARK.YOU'VE SET ME STRAIGHT.

- OW, HELPING HURTS.

- OKAY, OKAY.SQUEEZE MY HAND.

WE'RE ALMOST THERE.WHAT WAS THAT?

WHO DO I HAVE TO [bleep]TO GET A DOCTOR AROUND HERE?

- THAT WOULD BE ME.

- EH.

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