Weed

Season 1 Views: 4,244

I'm not going through menopause. Why would I want weed? (1:59)

-This is an interesting show.

I'll tell youbecause as a comic,

I always performat comedy clubs.

And they're very different thanthis because in a comedy club

the audience is forcedto have two drinks.

So to be honest, Idon't know if I'm

funny or not in frontof sober people.

It might turn out that allthese years, I have sucked,

and the audience has beentrashed out of their minds.

That's why they always makethe audience have two drinks

because comedy clubs are veryinsecure about the quality

of the show.

So they figure if the audiencesis smashed, it's always good.

Right?

I think other businessesshould jump on that wagon.

You know, go into a restaurant.

Come on in, the food is great.

But before you eat, youhave to smoke some weed.

Because we're going to serveHot Pockets up in this bitch,

but if you're high,it will be good.

So I go by Mo Mandel becausemy parents are hippies.

And they gave methe name Mohahn.

Mohahn is Hindu.

It's Indian, and I am white.

Yeah.

They didn't know at the time.

I feel like a dick whenI call tech support.

It's like, I knowI should know this.

Having hippie parentsis messed up. man.

My mom used to smoke a lotof weed around the house.

Anybody's parentsrolling that weed up?

AUDIENCE: Yeah!

-No!

No, If you're a parent,don't smoke weed

in front of your kids becauseit ruins weed for your kids.

And that's selfish.

Seriously, seeing your mom rolljoints, that's confusing, man.

The first time someone offeredme a joint in high school,

I'm like, I'm not goingthrough menopause.

Why would I want this?

My temperature's fine.

I'm very fertile right now.

That's right.

I live in Los Angeles.

Kind of an interesting place.

The people are kind of retarded.

Everyone's trying to beedgy all the time, you know,

even when they shouldn't be.

You know I went intothe mall the other day.

I saw a rich, whitesuburban kid wearing

a shirt that said "F the Cops."

So I robbed him.

Who was going tostop me, the cops?

I doubt that seriously.

I could stab that kid.

The cops would walk up.

Looks fine to me.

Punk.

Loading...