(APPLAUSE)THIS HAS BEEN QUITE AN

ENLIGHTENING CONVERSATIONWITH VLADIMIR PUTIN.

AND WHILE PRESIDENT PUTINSEEMS TO BE CHANNELING JON

LOVITZ'S CHARACTER FROM SNL,YEAH, YEAH, CRIMEA, YEAH,

WE'RE NOT IN CRIMEA, THAT'STHE TICKET, YEAH, PERHAPS

THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE GOINGON HERE.

>> GERMANY ANGELA MERKELTOLD PRESIDENT OBAMA SUNDAY

NIGHT THAT AFTER SPEAKING TOPUTIN SHE DIDN'T THINK HE

WAS IN TOUCH WITH REALITYSAYING PUTIN WAS IN ANOTHER

WORLD.

>> Jon: AND THAT BRINGS USTO THE SECOND PORTION OF OUR

HEADLINE.

MUCH OF THE WORLD NOW SEESPUTIN FOR WHAT HE IS, A SEMI

DELUSIONAL AUTOCRAT WHOVIEWS THE DISSOLUTION OF THE

SOVIET UNION AS ONE OF THEGREATEST TRAGEDIES OF THE

LATE 20TH CENTURY AND HASCONFUSED HIS OWNS GEO

POLITICAL PROPAGANDA FORREALITY.

WHO WOULD BE FOOLED BY THISGUY'S [BLEEP].

>> RUSSIA HAS A REAL LEADER.

AND OUR PRESIDENT JUSTIS-- IS INCAPABLE AND

UNWILLING TO LEAD.

>> IN A WAY, YOU GOT TO HANDIT TO PUTIN.

HE KNOWS THE WEST IS WEAK.

>> PUTIN DECIDE WHAT HE WANTSTO DO.

AND HE DOES IT IN HALF ADAY.

HE MAKES A DECISION AND HEEXECUTES IT.

QUICKLY, THEN EVERYBODYREACTS THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL

A LEADER.

>> Jon: THAT IS NOT WHAT YOUCALL A LEADER.

MAKE THE QUICK DECISION ANDEVERYBODY REACTS?

THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL ATODDLER.

(LAUGHTER)HONESTLY.

I GOT TO TELL YOU.

THE WEIRDEST THING ABOUTTHIS ISN'T PUTIN INVADING

UKRAINE.

YOU EXPECT A CRAZY GUY TOACT CRAZY.

THE WEIRDEST THING IS SEEINGCONSERVATIVES IN OUR COUNTRY

POINT AT THE CRAZY GUY ANDGO I'LL HAVE WHAT THEY'RE

HAVING.

PUTIN LIKES TO HANG OUT WITHHIS SHIRT OFF.

OBAMA WEARS MOM JEANS, PUTINTELLS THE WEST IF YOU MESS

WITH ME I WILL KILL YOU ALL.

>> PEOPLE ARE LOOKING ATPUTIN AS ONE WHO WRESTLES

BEARS AND DRILLS FOR OIL.

THEY LOOK AT OUR PRESIDENTAS ONE WHO WEARS MOM JEANS

AND EQUIVOCATES.

>> THIS IS A GUY THATWRESTLES TIGERS WHILE THE

PRESIDENT WEARS MOM PANTS.

>> Jon: WHAT A GREAT TALKINGPOINT THAT MOM JEANS TURNED

OUT TO BE.

HERE'S THE THING YOU GOT TOREMEMBER.

PUTIN DOESN'T ACTUALLYWRESTLE BEARS AND TIGERS.

THAT'S PROPAGANDA.

HE DID ONCE SHOOT A TIGER.

BUT ONLY AFTER THAT TIGERHAD BEEN PRETRANQUILIZED AND

TRAPPED IN A SNARE FOR HIM.

FOR GOD'S SAKES, HOW INONE 24 NEWS CYCLE DO YOU

UPGRADE PUTIN FROM WRESTLINGBEARS TO TIGERS ANYHOW, BYTOMORROW

IT WILL BE PUTIN ONCE SNAPPEDTHE TEETH OUT OF A GREAT WHITESHARK

AND MADE HIM BLOW HIM WHILEOBAMA SAT THERE WRISTFULLY

WEARING CAPRI PANTS AND ABABY BONNETT.

YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THERE ISSOMETHING RIDICULOUS ABOUT A

MIDDLE-AGED WORLD LEADERRIDING AROUND SHIRTLESS ON A

HORSE LIKE CONAN THEBARBARIAN AFTER A DOZEN

DONUTS.

WHO THINKS THIS LOOKS GOOD?

>> IT'S LIKE THEY WANT OBAMATO SEEM WEAK TO THE RUSSIAN

PEOPLE.

THEY DON'T RESPECT WEAKNESS.

>> PUTIN, BIG, STRONG,MUSCULAR ON A HORSE.

>> Jon: BIG, STRONG,MUSCULAR ON A HORSE THAT IS

AN IMAGE THAT LOOKS LIKE ITSHOULD BE AIR BRUSHED ON TO

THE SIDE OF A VAN IN A NEWJERSEY REST AREA.

(LAUGHTER)I HAVE BEEN TO THAT REST

AREA.

IT'S NICE.

BUT FINE, YOU WANT OBAMA TOBE MORE LIKE PUTIN.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF OBAMADID ACT A BIT MORE

AUTHORITARIAN.

>> DID PRESIDENT OBAMA MISSTHE CLASS ABOUT THE THREE

EQUAL BRANCHES OFGOVERNMENT.

>> DOESN'T HE ACT MORE LIKEKING THAN PRESIDENT.

>> HE'S NOT THE KING.

>> EMPEROR OBAMA DOES WHATHE WANTS TO DO.

>> AN IMPERIAL PRESIDENTSHREDDING THE CONSTITUTION.

>> HE GUTTED THECONSTITUTION WITH OBAMA

CARE.

>> SHOVED DOWN THE THROATSOF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

>> THAT'S A FORM OF TYRANNY.

>> THOSE ARE THE ACTIONS OFA DICTATOR.

>> BARACK OBAMA NEEDS TO BEREMINDED HE IS NOT A

DICTATOR.

>> Jon: FASCINATING.

LET ME SEE IF I HAVE THISSTRAIGHT.

OBAMA IS A WEAK, MOM JEANSWEARING DICTATOR KING!

WEAK, WEAK MOM JEANS, TYRANTS,OF THE WORST TYRANTS OF ALL.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITHTHESE PEOPLE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THESEPEOPLE AS CHILDREN.

THAT HAS ENABLED THISLOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH

AUTHORITARIAN FIGURES ANDTHE INHERENT COGNITIVE

DISSONANCE THAT GOESALONG WITH SUCH A SCHISM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKINGABOUT FOX CONTRIBUTOR RALPHPETERS

>> IT IS FUNNY, PUTINACTUALLY REMINDED ME IN A

PECULIAR WAY OF MY MOTHER.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: GO ON.

>> MY MOTHER HAS A BRILLIANT,UNCANNY ABILITY TO MEET

SOMEONE AND WITHIN FIVEMINUTES SHE CAN IDENTIFY

THEIR WEAKNESS.

SHE KNOWS THEIR WEAK POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WHO'S WEAK NOW MOTHER?

WEAK, WEAK, WEAK, WEAK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.