Greg Proops - Mexican Food

  • Season 2 , Ep 5
  • 06/18/1999
  • Views: 6,143

Hollywood is the literacy capital of the world. (2:19)

I'M GOING TO HIP YOU TO IT.

UH... IT'S IN KIND OFA DICEY NEIGHBORHOOD.

IT'S AT THE CORNER OF, LIKE,HUGH GRANT AND CRACK.

( laughter )AND...

THERE'S... THERE'S NO MENUS

IN THIS RESTAURANT, RIGHT?

'CAUSE THIS IS HOLLYWOOD

THE LITERACY CAPITOLOF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, YOU KNOW.

"WORDS?

"HURTING... BRAIN.

( laughter )

"WORDS NOT ABOUT ME.

"WAITER, CAN I HAVE A MIRRORSO I CAN WATCH MYSELF EAT?

"MMM... I AM SUPER-FOXY.

"I'M FROM FOX-SKATCHEWAN.

THAT'S THE CAPITALOF FOX-ITOBA."

AND THE WAITERJUST COMES UP TO YOUR TABLE

AND SCHPIELS, RIGHT?

ALTHOUGH YOU DON'T FINDA LOT OF MEXICAN WAITERS

USING THE YIDDISH.

DISCURSA--VERY SEXY. VERY LATIN, RIGHT?

( deeply, with accent ):"GOOD EVENING.

"WELCOME TO THE GARDENSOF TAXCO.

THIS IS LIKE EATING IN A HOMEIN MEXICO CITY."

EXCEPT YOU CAN'T SMOKE ORHAVE ANY ADULT FREEDOM, RIGHT?

YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN A RESTAURANTIN LOS ANGELES.

WHICH IS MILDY IRONIC

WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE FACTTHAT YOU CAN'T BREATHE

OUTSIDE A RESTAURANTIN LOS ANGELES.

YOU WOULDN'T WANTTHE DOORS TO FLING OPEN

AND ALL THAT BAD AIRTO WAFT OUTSIDE.

"THE FIRST DISHON THE MENU THIS EVENING

"IS CHICKEN CON CREMA--

"CHICKEN IN A CREAM SAUCESO RICH, SO DELICIOUS

YOU WOULD THINK THE CHICKENWAS BO IN IT."

( laughter )

"CHICKEN CON CREMA ISA VERY SPICY DISH.

"NOT HOT, MY FRIEND, NOT HOT.

( whispering ):"SPICY.

( laughter )

"CHICKEN CON CREMA--

"THE CHICKEN OF ROMANCE,INTRIGUE AND ADVENTURE

"A SASSY, FREE-RANGE BIRDWITH A MIND OF ITS OWN.

"THIS IS A CHICKEN THAT WOULDWALK UP TO A ROOSTER AND SAY

"'( ble ) OFF!

( laughter )

"'I DON'T NEED YOU IN MY LIFE.'

( laughter )

"CHICKEN CON CREMA--

"A CHICKEN SO BEGUILING,SO ALLURING, SO... CAPTIVATING

"YOU WILL WISH...TO PENETRATE THE CHICKEN.

( laughter )

"BUT YOU CANNOT,FOR IT IS FORBIDDEN.

"THERE IS NO SMOKINGAND NO PENETRATING THE CHICKEN

"IN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA.

"CALIFORNIA PENAL CODE SESENTA Y SEIS

SUBSECTION CUARENTA Y UNO."

( laughter )

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