I'M GOING TO HIP YOU TO IT.
UH... IT'S IN KIND OFA DICEY NEIGHBORHOOD.
IT'S AT THE CORNER OF, LIKE,HUGH GRANT AND CRACK.
( laughter )AND...
THERE'S... THERE'S NO MENUS
IN THIS RESTAURANT, RIGHT?
'CAUSE THIS IS HOLLYWOOD
THE LITERACY CAPITOLOF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, YOU KNOW.
"WORDS?
"HURTING... BRAIN.
( laughter )
"WORDS NOT ABOUT ME.
"WAITER, CAN I HAVE A MIRRORSO I CAN WATCH MYSELF EAT?
"MMM... I AM SUPER-FOXY.
"I'M FROM FOX-SKATCHEWAN.
THAT'S THE CAPITALOF FOX-ITOBA."
AND THE WAITERJUST COMES UP TO YOUR TABLE
AND SCHPIELS, RIGHT?
ALTHOUGH YOU DON'T FINDA LOT OF MEXICAN WAITERS
USING THE YIDDISH.
DISCURSA--VERY SEXY. VERY LATIN, RIGHT?
( deeply, with accent ):"GOOD EVENING.
"WELCOME TO THE GARDENSOF TAXCO.
THIS IS LIKE EATING IN A HOMEIN MEXICO CITY."
EXCEPT YOU CAN'T SMOKE ORHAVE ANY ADULT FREEDOM, RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN A RESTAURANTIN LOS ANGELES.
WHICH IS MILDY IRONIC
WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE FACTTHAT YOU CAN'T BREATHE
OUTSIDE A RESTAURANTIN LOS ANGELES.
YOU WOULDN'T WANTTHE DOORS TO FLING OPEN
AND ALL THAT BAD AIRTO WAFT OUTSIDE.
"THE FIRST DISHON THE MENU THIS EVENING
"IS CHICKEN CON CREMA--
"CHICKEN IN A CREAM SAUCESO RICH, SO DELICIOUS
YOU WOULD THINK THE CHICKENWAS BO IN IT."
( laughter )
"CHICKEN CON CREMA ISA VERY SPICY DISH.
"NOT HOT, MY FRIEND, NOT HOT.
( whispering ):"SPICY.
( laughter )
"CHICKEN CON CREMA--
"THE CHICKEN OF ROMANCE,INTRIGUE AND ADVENTURE
"A SASSY, FREE-RANGE BIRDWITH A MIND OF ITS OWN.
"THIS IS A CHICKEN THAT WOULDWALK UP TO A ROOSTER AND SAY
"'( ble ) OFF!
( laughter )
"'I DON'T NEED YOU IN MY LIFE.'
( laughter )
"CHICKEN CON CREMA--
"A CHICKEN SO BEGUILING,SO ALLURING, SO... CAPTIVATING
"YOU WILL WISH...TO PENETRATE THE CHICKEN.
( laughter )
"BUT YOU CANNOT,FOR IT IS FORBIDDEN.
"THERE IS NO SMOKINGAND NO PENETRATING THE CHICKEN
"IN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA.
"CALIFORNIA PENAL CODE SESENTA Y SEIS
SUBSECTION CUARENTA Y UNO."
( laughter )