I do love weed.
I know, very brave to admit
at a surfer barin Hawaii, but...
I love weed so muchthat I'm a germaphobe
about everything except weed.
Like, I won't share a drinkwith my best friend,
but I'd let a homeless manroll me a blunt.
Do you understandwhat I'm saying?
If I have a drink,and my best friend
takes a sip,I no longer want that drink.
He can have it.
If I see a homeless manrolling a blunt,
I'll ask him if I can hit itand be like,
"Cough once in my mouthfor yes,
lick my face for no."
Try to avoid germs, though.
Try to be healthier'cause I had a health scare
at the beginning of the year.
Several months ago,my prostate was acting up.
So I had to goget my prostate checked
and when I toldone of my friends that,
he's like, "You better hopeyour doctor's not gay."
And I was like, "I absolutelyhope my doctor's gay."
If I have toget my prostate checked,
and I'm choosing betweena doctor who spends all day
locating the prostateand a doctor who spends
all day and all nightlocating the prostate...
give me the guy workinga double shift, all right?
[cheers and applause]
I want my doctor to haveas much knowledge and experience
with the body partthey're examining as possible,
and I don't care how theyacquire their 10,000 hours.