Ted Alexandro - Teacher

  • Season 5 , Ep 7
  • 08/12/2001
  • Views: 9,372

Ted was an elementary school music teacher for five years. (1:50)

THAT'S WHAT I USED TO DO.

I USED TO BE A MUSIC TEACHER.

(CHEERING)

YEAH.

WHAT ARE YOU SOME OF MY FORMER

STUDENTS OVER HERE?

IS THAT WHAT THAT IS?

I WISH.

THANK YOU.

YEAH, I TAUGHT MUSIC FOR

FIVE YEARS.

NEW YORK CITY ELEMENTARY

SCHOOLS.

IT WAS WILD TO ME, MAN.

LIKE IT'S SO STRANGE FINDING

YOURSELF IN CHARGE.

YOU KNOW?

KIDS EXPECT YOU TO HAVE THE

ANSWERS.

THE STRANGEST THING.

KIDS COMES RUNNING UP TO YOU:

"BILLY'S GOT A MARBLE IN HIS

ASS."

WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT?

IN HIS ASS?

DID HE TRY TO BLOW IT OUT OR

ANYTHING?

I DON'T KNOW, TELL HIM TO HAVE

ANOTHER TACO AT LUNCH,

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T--

I DIDN'T READ THE CHAPTER ABOUT

THE MARBLE IN THE ASS."

I DON'T KNOW.

AND KIDS LOVE TO SING, MAN.

SO IT WAS JUST CRAZY.

THEY LOVE TO SING THE SAME SONGS

OVER AND OVER AGAIN, LIKE IT'S

THE FIRST TIME EVERY TIME.

LIKE THE SONG, "THE WHEELS ON

THE BUS."

THEY LOVE THAT SONG.

BY THE END OF THE DAY I WANTED

TO JUST TO LAY DOWN IN FRONT OF

THE BUS.

IT'S LIKE, LET'S GO.

COME ON.

ROUND AND ROUND.

I KNOW THE WORDS.

LET'S DO IT.

LET'S DO IT.

COME ON.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

RIGHT, MAN?

CRAZY.

YOU REMEMBER WHEN A KID PUKED

IN GRAMMAR SCHOOL?

REMEMBER THAT?

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE?

KIDS ARE LIKE DIVING UNDER

DESKS, JUST LIKE RUNNING

FOR COVER.

COULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND,

AND YOU'RE LIKE--

HOLY CRAP, MAN!

I DON'T EVEN THINK WE HAD

PEAS AND CARROTS TODAY!

WHAT?

HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

IT'S LIKE MAGIC!

THEN THE GUY COMES WITH A BUCKET

OF SAWDUST.

WHAT IS HE, LIKE THE PUKE FAIRY?

WHAT IS THAT, MAN?

LIKE, HAVE NO FEAR, CHILDREN,

I AM THE PUKE FAIRY.

(APPLAUSE)

MAKE A WISH, AND I WILL SWEEP IT

UP.

I AM THE PUKE FAIRY.

PUKE FAIRY.

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