Nature - Jokes About Nature

  • Ep 8
  • 04/01/2010
  • Views: 33,434

Demetri explains how to be a laid-back spelunker and why duck hunting is especially cruel. (2:10)

BETWEEN STALAGMITESAND STALACTITES,

SO I JUST SAY "STALAGS"FOR ALL OF THEM.(laughter)

I WALK INTO A CAVE,AND I'LL BE LIKE,

"MAN, THERE ARE A LOT OF STALAGSIN HERE."(laughter)

THEN PEOPLE ARE THINKING,

"THIS GUY IS KNOWLEDGEABLEAND LAID-BACK."

(laughter)

"WE GOT ONE COOL-ASS SPELUNKERIN THIS CAVE."(laughter)

DUCK HUNTING SEEMS,LIKE, ESPECIALLY CRUEL

BECAUSE YOU'RE FOOLING THE DUCK

IN A WAY THAT MAKES HIM THINKHE'S GONNA GET LAID.

(laughter)

BUT THEN HE GETS KILLED.(laughter)

SO A DUCK'S SWIMMINGWITH HIS FRIENDS,

AND HE'S LIKE, "QUACK, QUACK.EXCUSE ME FOR A SEC."

(laughter)(amorous voice)"HELLO."

(normal voice)"WHAT?"(imitates gunshot)

(laughter)

THAT'S A (bleep) WAY TO GO.(laughter)

THAT'D BE LIKE KILLING SOMEBODYUSING A MANNEQUIN,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?(laughter)

YOU'RE, LIKE,IN A DEPARTMENT STORE,

AND YOU'RE LIKE,"GUYS, HOLD ON.

"THERE'S A REALLY CUTE GIRLWITH VERY CURRENT STYLE

CHECKING ME OUT."(laughter)

"EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND."(amorous voice) "HELLO."

(normal voice) "WHOA, A RIFLE!WHAT'S UP?"(laughter)

I LIKE WHEN I LISTENTO A RADIO STATION,

AND THEY SAY SOMETHING LIKE,"Z MORNING ZOO.

IT'S LIKE A ZOO IN HERE,"YOU KNOW?

IT'S LIKE, "WOW, REALLY?"

SO THE RADIO STATION'SLIKE A ZOO?

SO YOU GUYS JUST, LIKE,LIE AROUND IN CAPTIVITY

UNTIL YOU DIE?(laughter)

WOW, THAT'S CRAZY.(laughter)

THAT MUST BEA FUN RADIO STATION.(laughter)

"Z MORNING ZOO.

"THEY FEED US EVENTUALLY,

AND WE HAVE TO LIE AROUNDIN OUR OWN FECES."(laughter)

"WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION, CALLER?"

THAT'S WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT, UH,

BUMS AND TOWELS.

THEY'RE REALLY SIMILARIN ONE WAY--

IF YOU BRING 'EM TO THE BEACH,THEN IT BECOMES A BEACH...

(laughter)

BUM OR BEACH TOWEL,YOU KNOW?(laughter)

ONE THING THAT WOULD BE COOLABOUT BEING REALLY LITTLE

IS THAT A HAND TOWEL WOULD WORKAS, LIKE, A REGULAR TOWEL.

(chuckles)(laughter)

JUST A LITTLE GUY AT THE BEACH.

IT'D BE KINDA COOL TO GOTO THE BEACH WITH A TOWEL

AND THEN BRING TWO HAND TOWELSFOR YOUR HANDS.(laughter)

JUST KINDA HANG.

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