Sportscaster Truth

Jim Gaffigan & Fred Armisen Season 2, Ep 27 03/09/2004 Views: 27,857

Landalious "The Truth" Truefeld shows that he's a man of many skills while trying to get a job at a radio station. (3:22)

>> Sports, this is Mark.

>> Hey, Mark.

I'm talking to you today 'cause

I would love to work with you


My a name is Landanlius


I'm an athlete, a ballplayer.

Y'all probably heard of me, I'm

called "The Truth."

>> Uh, no.

>> Oh, well, let me give you a

little list of my...

>> Who do you play for?

>> Man, I done played for

everybody, man.

I'm three time All Sweet Valley,

two time All American Africana.

Do you know I once played an

entire game with a broken leg, a

ruptured groin and an ingrown

toenail, man.

>> I'll be damned.

>> MVP, Kellogg's Froot Loops


'93 Hymen Trophy winner.

NAACP best actor in a supporting

role, and that's on a sitcom,

only worked one day in my life,


Tell me I'm not blessed.

Mr. Touchdown, '89!

Mr. Touchdown, '90!

Mr. Touchdown, '91!

Mr. Touchdown, '92!

It's time for me to give back

and do some play-by-play.

Are you all hiring?

>> No, uh, uh, unfortunately, we

don't have any opening.

>> Oh, man.

Let me call some plays for you.

It's the third down.

They done got to the 22.

Number 49 hikes the ball.

Oh, my God, it's a fumble!

Who picked it up?

The Truth Landanlius.

Oh, he doing the shake-and-bake.

He doing the dipsy-doodle.

Oh, he done did a 180.

Stop, freeze, he's playing dead.

What they goin' do?

What they goin' do?

Oh, he gets up and runs it all

the way to the end zone!

♪ He's doing the end zone dance

Sha-ka, da-ka, lak

♪ End zone dance!

End zone zance. ♪

Am I hired now?

>> That's pretty good.

>> I can do the up front and

personal interviews, too, man.

I ain't afraid to ask all the

uh, uh, you know, the hard


I'll look dead at Dennis Rodman.

"Man, what's up?

What's up?

Did you take a ( bleep )?"

You know, I'll ask O.J.,

"O.J., why you kill that white


You know, I can ask the serious


And, look here, guess what I'm

sitting on?

>> What?

>> Guess what I'm sitting on?

>> No, that's why I said,


>> I'm sitting on a gold mine,

man, 'cause I just put out my

first album.

Okay, it's not an album, it's a

12-inch single.

>> You're a recording artist,


>> Who's your favorite player,

man, 'cause I've got all the


I've got footballs,


>> I love Joe Montana.

>> Do you?

Let me give you his autographed


And I'm-a tell you how I got it.

I got it when I broke his

kneecap, man.

>> How did you break his


>> Well, you know, you hit him


>> What is that story?

>> Well, you want to hear it,


Do you want to hear it?

>> Yeah.

>> Okay, well, here we go.

It's 11:30.

They're in the back of the bar.

Joe Montana approaches a tall


He looks him eye-to-eye and he

says, "What did you say?"

Negro gets down, he's shoulder-


Then the snap!


The Truth gives him the elbow!

They're down!

There's a tussle.

No one's come up with the ball.

Oh, my God, Joe Montana's up!

He's down.

He's up.

He's down.

He's up.

( beatboxing ):

♪ Down, up, down ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ I hit him in the knee ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ He went down ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ He laid for a while ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ And he didn't make a sound ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ The sirens came ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ Me and my boys ran ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ We said, "Split up!" ♪

( beatboxing )

♪ That's the best plan. ♪

>> Dude, you do that off the top

of your head?

>> Actually, it fell out my ...,

man, okay?

>> Unbelievable.

>> So, am I hired now?

>> No.

>> All right, then, peace and