Keith Robinson - Special Place

Tough Crowd Stands Up with Colin Quinn Season 1, Ep 0101 12/08/2002 Views: 3,723

Men never got the penis pep talk like women got the vagina pep talk. (2:11)

BLACK FOLKS.

LOOK AT THE WHITE PEOPLE LOOKING

AROUND, WHERE THEY AT?

WHERE THEY AT?

[LAUGHTER]

WHITE PEOPLE GO TO PLACES AND

LOOK FOR BLACK PEOPLE LIKE THEY

LOOK FOR FIRE EXITS.

OKAY, THERE'S TWO OVER THERE,

ONE IN THE CORNER...

WE CAN GET OUT, IT'S COOL,

WE CAN GET OUT.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHUCKLING]

OH, MAN.

LOOK AT EVERYBODY HERE, COUPLED

OFF, EVERYBODY WITH THE COUPLES,

LADIES WITH ALL THAT CONFIDENCE

WHEN YOU GO ON A DATE.

ALL WOMEN HAVE CONFIDENCE

BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN

THEIR MINDSET IF THEY DO

SOMETHING WITH US SEXUALLY.

IT'S A TREAT FOR US.

A TREAT!

TRICK-OR-TREAT.

TRICK-OR-TREAT.

THIS GIRL HAD NERVE TO TELL ME

A FEW MONTHS BACK, "LOOK IF YOU

PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT,

YOU MAY GET LUCKY."

HOW YOU MEAN, 'I MAY GET LUCKY.'

WHAT I'M GONNA RUB YO TITTY

AND A GENIE GONNA POP OUT OF

YOUR ASS?

WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[APPLAUSE]

BUT, FELLAS, I'M A TELL YOU WHAT

THE PROBLEM IS, WOMEN HAVE BEEN

TAUGHT SINCE CHILDHOOD THAT THEY

WERE SPECIAL DOWN THERE.

THAT'S RIGHT!

WE NEVER GOT THE PENIS PEP TALK.

BUT THEY DID.

THEY GOT THE VAGINA PEP TALK.

THEY PARENTS TOLD 'EM, WHEN THEY

WERE LITTLE GIRLS, THAT'S

SPECIAL, DON'T YOU LET NOBODY

TOUCH IT!

IT SPECIAL!

DON'T LET NOBODY TOUCH IT!

SPECIAL!

SOME DIRTY LITTLE BOY TRY TO

TOUCH YOU DOWN THERE, YOU SMACK

THE HELL OUT OF 'EM!

AND YOU TELL HIM, "NO, THIS IS

SPECIAL!"

[LAUGHTER]

HUH?

FELLAS, WE NEVER GOT THAT.

OUR PARENTS NEVER GOT US IN

THE LIVING ROOM, "SON, C'MON IN

HERE, PULL IT OUT.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU SEE THAT?

THAT'S SPECIAL.

DON'T YOU LET NOBODY TOUCH IT!

SOME LITTLE GIRL OR A PRIEST

TRY TO TOUCH YOU DOWN THERE...

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

YOU TELL THEM, 'NO, THIS IS

SPECIAL.'"

AND IF WE BELIEVED THAT, FELLAS,

WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR

NOTHING ON FIRST DATES.

"GIRL, PAY YOUR OWN CHECK,

MINE'S JUST AS GOOD AS YOURS.

[LAUGHTER]

TH