Scott LaRose - Movies

Season 1 , Ep 0140 02/24/92 Views: 468

"The Rocketeer" has to burn his ass when he flies. (2:38)

BUT LATELY, WHEN YOU GETSOMETHING DONE IN YOUR LIFE

HAVE YOU NOTICED IT'S BEENTAKING TWO AND THREE TIMES

TO HAVE SOMETHING DONE RIGHT?

I GO TO THE GAS STATION,I GET GAS.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DOAT THE GAS STATION?

I GO TO GAS STATIONTO PURCHASE A PUMP.

I GO TO THE GAS STATIONTO GET GAS, OKAY?

STOP, I'M GOINGTO PEE MY PANTS.

( laughter )

I SAY "FOUR DOLLARS."

IT CLICKS OFF AT THREE.

AT THREE IT CLICKS OFF.

I SAY, "WHAT'S WITHTHE LAST DOLLAR?

"AND WHAT'S WITHTHE LAST TEN CENTS

TAKING JUST AS LONGAS THE FIRST 3.90?"

WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?

3.90, 3.91... 3.92...

WHAT IS THAT, THE MALE MODEL GUYPUMPING THE GAS FOR ME?

THEY HAVE TO SLOW THE GAS DOWNSO IT DOESN'T BUILD UP

AND BLOW YOUR CARRIGHT OUT OF THE ISLAND?

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAN?"

"IT WAS AT NORMAL SPEED.

IT JUST BLEW IT RIGHT OUT."

SO I TRY TO RELAX.

I FIGURE, LET ME RENT A VIDEO.

THAT'S WHAT I'LL DOBECAUSE IT'S ESCAPIST, RIGHT?

I CAN RENT A VIDEO,I CAN ESCAPE.

I RENT A MOVIE CALLED ROCKETEER.

I'M TRYING TO ESCAPE... WRONG.

HOW DOES THAT GUY FLY LIKE THATWITHOUT BURNING HIS ASS OFF?

HE'S GOT A NUCLEAR WARHEADON HIS ANAL CAVITY

AND THERE'S NO MENTIONOF BLISTERS?

YEAH, LIKE HE WOULDN'T LAND

AND GO RIGHT FOR THE TUCK'SMEDICATED PADS, YOU KNOW?

( hissing )

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LINEOF BUSINESS AM I IN?"

AND WHAT IF HE HAS GAS?

IS THAT LIKE TURBO FOR HIM?

YOU KNOW, HE'S GOING ALONG.

DOES IT SHOOT HIM OFFIN ANOTHER DIRECTION?

THE ADDAMS FAMILY-- A NICE COMEDY, RIGHT?

I WATCH THE MOVIE AND I GO

"WAIT A MINUTE,HOLD ON A SECOND.

"IF MORTICIA REALLY DIDHAVE A PET HAND

SHE'D NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE."

THEY DON'T SHOW THAT.

THAT WOULD BE THE BEST PARTOF THE MOVIE.

NONE OF US WOULDLEAVE THE HOUSE.

"OH, THING, COME HEREFOR A SECOND.

DOWN, DOWN, STAY, STAY."

I THINK THAT THE HANDTHAT WAS CUT OFF

FOR THE ADDAMS FAMILYWAS CUT OFF THE GUY FROM HOOK.

THAT'S MY THEORY.

IT GOT CUT OFF THE GUY IN HOOK

IT WENT RIGHT OVERTO THE NEXT SET

AND SAID, "I'LL WORK HERE."

WHEN I WALKED OUTOF THE MOVIE HOOK--

I LIKE SCREWING WITH PEOPLE--

I WALK OUT, AND I GO"CAN YOU BELIEVE

DUSTIN HOFFMAN CUT OFFHIS HAND FOR THAT MOVIE?"

AND YOU ALWAYS GET SOMEBODY,"ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"WOW, THAT PUTS ITIN A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE."

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