Marc Maron - Teenage Girls

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 12/07/1998
  • Views: 7,266

Of course Marc Maron wants to have sex with teenage girls. (1:32)

( laughter )

I'M NOT.

WHAT'S A PERVERT?

IS THERE SUCH A THINGAS A PERVERT?

REALLY?YES.

NO, THERE'S NOT.

WHAT IF I WAS ONE OF THOSEPEOPLE THAT ALL I DID SEXUALLY

WAS SUSPEND MYSELFFROM NIPPLE CLAMPS IN MY GARAGE

WITH RUBBER UNDERWEAR ONAND A CHEF'S HAT AND JUST ROCKED

BACK AND FORTHGOING, "WHAT'S COOKIN'?"

DOES THAT MAKE ME A PERVERT?

NO, NO, IT DOESN'T.

IT JUST MAKES ME SPECIFIC.

I KNOW WHAT I LIKE

AND IT'S MY GARAGE.

I'M NOT A PERVERT THOUGH.

I'M JUST GETTING OLDER.

I'M NOT OLD.

I'M 35. THAT'S NOT OLD.

BUT AS YOU GET OLDER,YOU'VE GOT TO LET THINGS GO.

CERTAIN THINGSAREN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.

MAYBE I'M NOT GOING TO BEAN ASTRONAUT, YOU KNOW.

( laughter )

BUT YOU REALIZE YOU'REGETTING OLDER IN WEIRD WAYS.

LIKE I REALIZED RECENTLY

TEENAGE GIRLSDON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE ME

AS A SEXUAL BEING ANYMORE.

DON'T MISUNDERSTAND ME, FOLKS.

I'M NOT SAYING I WANT TO HAVESEX WITH TEENAGE GIRLS, OKAY?

I'M JUST SAYING,"HEY, THROW ME A BONE.

"HOW ABOUT A SMILE?

CUTE T-SHIRT, LOOK AT ME."

NOTHING--

UNLESS IT'S TO TURNTO THEIR FRIENDS AND GO

"HEY, WHY IS THAT WEIRD GUYLOOKING AT US?

"WHAT'S HE DOING AT THE MALL?

"QUICK, GET TO THE FOOD COURT.

"THE GUARD'S THERE.

"RUN, YOU GUYS. HE'S COMING.

YOU GUYS."

I'M LYING.

OF COURSE I WANT TO HAVE SEXWITH TEENAGE GIRLS.

I MEAN...

( laughter and applause )

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