Stephen Lynch - Hermaphrodite

  • Season 3, Ep 9
  • 08/01/2000
  • Views: 18,301

Stephen sings about his experience with a hermaphrodite. (3:19)

BOYS AND GIRLS, THAT WAS IT.

HE KNEW HOWTO MAKE HIMSELF HAPPY.

HE WOULD WRITE MUSICAND PLAY SONGS.

NOT ONLY WOULD THISMAKE HIM HAPPY,

BUT SURELY HE WOULD GETLOTS OF ASS TOO.

FOR YOU SEE, BOYS AND GIRLS,

STEPHEN HAD JUST STARTEDTO DISCOVER GIRLS.

NOW, DO YOU REMEMBERYOUR FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?

YOU WANT TO TELL EVERYBODYABOUT IT?

I THOUGHT NOT.

WELL, STEPHEN'S FIRSTWAS WITH A GIRL THAT HE MET

AFTER PLACING AN ADIN THE "ANYTHING GOES" SECTION

OF THE VILLAGE VOICENEWSPAPER.

OH, SHE HAD EVERYTHING HE EVERCOULD HAVE WANTED IN A GIRL--

BRAINS, BEAUTY,A SENSE OF HUMOR,

A PENIS--ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS WEIRD.

BOTH SETS OF SEXUAL ORGANS,BUT WHAT COULD STEPHEN DO?

FOR HE WAS IN LOVE.

♪ SHE'S PART GIRL;SHE'S PART BOY. ♪

♪ SHE'S GOT PARTSEVERYONE CAN ENJOY. ♪

♪ SHE'S GOT MORE;SHE'S GOT LESS. ♪

♪ SHE'S GOT HER MANHOODTUCKED IN HER DRESS, YEAH. ♪

♪ IS SHE A MISTER,OR IS SHE A MISS? ♪

♪ DOES SHE STAND UPWHEN SHE'S TAKING A PISS? ♪

♪ SHE'S MY LITTLE GIRL;YEAH, SHE'S MY LITTLE GUY. ♪

♪ WHEN I TRY TO PLEASE HER,I GET POKED IN THE EYE. ♪

♪ SHE WEARS LACE,AND SHE WEARS FLANNEL. ♪

♪ SHE WATCHES FOOTBALLAND THE LIFETIME CHANNEL. ♪

♪ WHAT'S THAT BULGEUNDER HER NIGHTIE? ♪

♪ IT MUST BE HERMAPHRODITE,YEAH. ♪

♪ HERMAPHRODITE, UH-HUH.

♪ SOME THINGS ARE WHITE;SOME THINGS ARE BLACK. ♪

♪ SOME GIRLS WEAR MAKE-UP;MINE SHAVES HER BACK. ♪

♪ SHE IS STILL BEAUTIFUL;SHE IS STILL FINE. ♪

♪ IT'S TOO BAD HER PACKAGEIS BIGGER THAN MINE. ♪

♪ SHE CAN'T HELPHER IMPERFECTIONS. ♪

♪ SHE GETS JOCK ITCHFROM HER YEAST INFECTIONS. ♪

♪ WHO STOLEALL MY TIGHTY WHITEYS? ♪

♪ IT MUST BE HERMAPHRODITE.

♪ YEAH, YEAH,

♪ YEAH,

♪ HERMAPHRODITE.

♪ HERMAPHODI--AH,AH, LA-LA-LA, ♪

♪ AH, LA-LA-LA,AH, LA-LA-LA, ♪

♪ ALLA, LA-LA, OOH.

♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA.

♪ HERMAPHRODITE. ♪

[applause]

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