Mark Serritella - Worst Day at Work

The Seance Season 2, Ep 3 09/19/2014 Views: 1,512

While working at Chuck E. Cheese's as a teenager, Mark Serritella made a terrible decision that he instantly regretted. (1:26)

BEFORE STAND-UP.

[cheers]

NICE, I LIKE THAT.TEACHERS DRINKING ON A MONDAY,

NEVER A GOOD THING.

TAUGHT KINDERGARTEN,FOR A WHILE.

YOU GUYS REMEMBER KINDERGARTENWAS GREAT, WHEN YOU WERE IN IT?

IT WAS HALF A DAY,THERE WAS A NAP INVOLVED,

FOR NO REASON?NOW, IT SUCKS.

IT'S A FULL DAY,THERE'S NO NAP.

I STARTED GIVINGTHE KINDERGARTENERS COFFEE.

YEAH, YOU LAUGH, BUT THE READINGSCORES WERE UP, WAY UP.

OF COURSE, THEY SHITTHEIR PANTS A LOT MORE OFTEN.

[laughter]

I WAS VERY GOOD AT TEACHING,BUT THERE ARE

SOME TERRIBLE TEACHERSOUT THERE.

LIKE, AT MY SCHOOL,WE HAD A 300-POUND P.E. TEACHER.

HIS GAMES WERE AWFUL.

I WENT OUT THERE ONE DAY...THE KIDS WERE PLAYING

"LAYING ON THE ROCKSLIKE WALRUSES."

HE WAS TOSSING THEMSWEDISH FISH.

I LOVE STAND-UP COMEDY, THOUGH.IT'S THE BEST JOB I'VE EVER HAD.

THE WORST DAYI'VE EVER HAD AT WORK,

I WAS 16 YEARS OLD,

I WAS WORKING AT CHUCK E. CHEESEAS CHUCK E. CHEESE.

AND MY BEST FRIENDIS DRIVING IN ONE MORNING,

AND HALFWAY THERE,HE LOOKS AT ME, HE GOES,

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DOBEFORE YOU GO IN?

YOU SHOULD TAKE SOME ACID."

AND I HAD NEVERTRIED ACID BEFORE,

SO I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE,LIKE, SUPER STRONG WEED.

45 MINUTES INTO MY SHIFT,IT KICKS IN.

THIS LITTLE KID RUNS UP TO ME,HE GOES,

"YOU'RE CHUCK E. CHEESE."

AND I FREAKED THE [bleep] OUT.

I ACTUALLY RANFROM THE BUILDING.

YOU COULD ACTUALLY SEE PEOPLEIN THEIR CARS,

LIKE, "WAIT A MINUTE.IS THAT CHUCK E. CHEESE?

IS HE TRIPPING, AM I TRIPPING?WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

HEY, GUYS,I'M MARK SERRITELLA.