Shaun Majumder - Football

  • Season 12, Ep 24
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 9,555

The only thing they can touch the ball with is their foot? That ain't football, you idiot! (1:41)

YEAH. YOU LIKE HIM?

BRINGING SOCCERTO THE MAINSTREAM

OR FOOTBALL AS IT'S CALLED INMOST OTHER PLACES IN THE WORLD.

DID YOU KNOW THAT?

I TOLD THAT TO A GUYTHE OTHER DAY AND HE WAS LIKE,

[Southern Drawl]"EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE--"REMEMBER THIS GUY?

SAME GUY. "EXCUSE ME?WHAT DID YOU SAY, FOOTBALL?

"NAH, IT AIN'T CALLED FOOTBALL.

"SEE, THAT'S WHAT I HATE ABOUTTHE REST OF THE WORLD, OKAY.

"EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE LIKE US,THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

"I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'.YOU'RE JUST TRYIN' TO TAKE

"THE NAME OF OUR GAME,PUT IT ON A NAME OF YOUR GAME,

"MAKE IT SEEM TOUGHER.THAT'S NOT ATOUGH SPORT OVER THERE.

"BUNCH OF FRUITY TOOTSRUNNIN' AROUND IN THEIR

"STAY UP STOCKIN'SKICKIN' A BALL WITH THEIR FOOT.

"STOPPIN' THE BALLWITH THEIR FOOT.

"BLOCKIN' A BALLWITH THEIR FOOT.

"ONLY THING THEY CAN TOUCHWITH THE BALL IS THEIR FOOT.

"THAT AIN'T FOOTBALL,YOU IDIOT.

"OKAY, FOOTBALL'S WHEN AREAL STRONG MUSCULAR MAN

"TAKES HIS HANDS AND HE PUTSTHEM BETWEEN A MAN'S LEGS.

"AND HE TAKES THE BALLWITH HIS HANDS.

"RUNS WITH THE BALLIN HIS HANDS.

"THROWS THE BALL WITH HIS HANDS.BLOCK THE BALL WITH HIS HANDS.

"AND THEN SCORES A TOUCHDOWNWITH HIS HANDS.

"THAT'S FOOTBALL, YOU IDIOT.

"FOOTBALL'S A BATTLEBETWEEN MEN,

"A DOGFIGHT TO THE FINISH.THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL IS.

"I TELL YOU WHAT ELSE TOO,SCREW THE METRIC SYSTEM

"WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.DON'T YOU THINK

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.THAT'S JUST TERRORISM

"WRAPPED UP IN ZEROS AND ONES.

"WE GOTTA GET OVER THERE ANDGET THAT DEWY DECIMAL FELLAH

"BEFORE HE GETS OVER HEREAND GETS USTEN TO THE POWER OF WHAT,

TEN TO THE POWEROF FREEDOM BITCH."

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

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